Cleaning my inbox to start fresh in the new year, and I was able to delete 20% of my emails in one minute by searching for the word "unsubscribe" and deleting everything that came up.

it’s always “ily” and never “you’re too sexy beautiful and everybody wants a taste”

barbie movie is a relationship ender

That’s a real Musk job you did there. You really did a Musk job on that one. *trying to get something catch on* You really Musked the hell out of this. Musked it to pieces.

if I was president the first thing I would do is declassify everything that's ever been classified on Day 1. that way, people would find some new Kennedy assassination or UFO thing to freak out about every single day and no one would ever bother me for the rest of my term.

is it self harm to go on reddit and read AITA posts?