To be fair I’d also kill myself if i had that many emails to respond to

they say that a man with a can of chickpeas is richer than god

Naming my penis Fetterman the way it needs another stroke

3D printed in an anarco-socialist commune

I am not a certified freak. I’m an unregistered freak and had the serial number filed off

i think having an ipod nano would fix a lot of my problems

this is poetry

what an INSANE way for him to admit he has no friends—

Bluesky is getting hornier. Time to resurrect the pope.

AYO—

Nurses, jeeps, and cops unite to form the most unholy polyamorous relationship known to earth

We decided to watch “School of Rock” last night because it has “Minecraft Steve in it” (I know…It is what it is) and I decided to google a bit and, yall, the little singer girl just got married to the big security guard boy /in real life/. She’s a OBGYN sonographer and he’s a music industry lawyer.

fucked up that they’re right about eating healthier. fucked up they’re right about getting 8 hours of sleep. fucked up they’re right about exercising. fuck this chungus life

Just saw a group of school children booing a passing Tesla, and it wasn’t even a cyber truck

Bad bitch keeps pointing at all the plants saying “gender” or “this is a lesbian”

they must have rlly good taste 🤷

pavement princess is crazy work lmfao

🐝

😔

I see a lot of you are worried about your stocks so I’m glad I invested all my money in the one asset that will NEVER decline in value: tulips

wait nevermind collapse is still scheduled for wednesday

ayo

the only time you’ll catch me enlisting 🫡

😬

why is he dressed like gru

local hero fr

🫢

call me jacks the way I’m a cracker