no war but infowars

Hey everybody! I am taking the helm of this classic American institution with @theonion.com and want to know what you fine folks would like to see from us.

Infowars/Onion combo logo in rainbow saying “I support the onion’s hostile media takeover.”

It’s finally happened. After 18 months. Finally, a media merger you can root for.

President, Extremely Normal Brain-Wise: Pope Weak on Crime, Also I’m Dr. Jesus Christ

A+ headline.

defector.com/president-ex...

ms. rachel is WEAK on the economy

In Bruges scene where Colin Farrell is pointing a gun at his head and Brendon Gleeson is also pointing a gun at Colin Farrell's head

Current status of the Strait of Hormuz dispute

FEMA Official Says He Teleported to Waffle House. Experts Are Dubious. Gregg Phillips, who is in charge of responding to fires and floods, says the hand of God suddenly and mysteriously moved him to a 24-hour breakfast spot in Rome, Ga.

Folks, I give you the New York Times

“J-pilled” (far-right slang for skepticism of Israeli influence” - the New York Times

The New York Times apparently thinks that “Israel” starts with the letter J

love to carry water for literal fascists, great job newspaper of record

I put video in my report on today's Pentagon worship service (publicwitness.wordandway.org/p/at-pentago...), but here is Hegseth reading a violent prayer to cast Iran conflict as a holy war against God's enemies:

Markets Surge After Trump Claims He Had Sex With An Angel

Markets Surge After Trump Claims He Had Sex With An Angel theonion.com/markets-surge-after-trum...

I'll say it again: everything you need to know about Trump is visible & evident on the surface. You can understand him entirely, without remainder, within 30 seconds of hearing him talk. He's perfectly transparent, perfectly consistent, utterly without depth or mystery.

Which means ...

Come and see

Great article on the DOGE depositions.

Here are the videos

Here they are

bsky.app/profile/dans...

DOGE Depositions : Free Download, Borrow, and Streaming : Internet Archive Members of the Department of Government Efficiency being deposed in the Modern Language Association (MLA), American Council of Learned Societies (ACLS), and...

Here are the complete DOGE depositions in the MLA-ACLS-AHA lawsuit that were taken down off of YouTube yesterday. I uploaded them to archive dot org. archive.org/details/adam...

“But, as you see, it's a beautiful day, the Strait of Hormuz is open and people are having a wonderful time.”

THE SHROUDS (2025) Dir: David Cronenberg

Trump Creates Makeshift Situation Room In Mar-A-Lago Sauna

Trump Creates Makeshift Situation Room In Mar-A-Lago Sauna

"Steven Soderbergh spent two years on a Star Wars movie that will never be made" is news designed specifically to fuck with my brain.

Who's the greatest working filmmaker?

OpenAI's Rob Zombie calls latest model "more human than human"