Opinion | Alan Dershowitz: Why I’m Becoming a Republican I first registered as a Democrat in 1959. The party’s hostility to Israel is too much.

Citing “too small a tent” with “not enough massages,” Alan Dershowitz leaves the Democratic Party.

This is so monumentally fucked up on every level I feel sick to my stomach.

Suffering from some kind of work-induced stress disorder where I get an email for a newsletter, but out of the corner of my eye I simply see the outlook notification with a large block of text underneath and can actually feel my blood pressure spike

I can’t believe that, in the year of our lord 9286, you wou—-year of our lord 9286, yeah. Wait, who do you worship?

We cannot rule the globe without the sick boys

“The Blippy and Paw Patrol cliques are gonna eat you alive, babe”

“I know you’re 3 and all, but dinosaurs are not cool. You’re not going to make preschool prom king by talking about dinosaurs”

Truly a mixed day for Tims associated with agricultural icons

If I had as much time as I wanted, I’d show up to every flight 3 days early and live there like Eastern European Tom Hanks

I’d use the extra 45 mentally preparing myself to go to the airport, same as I’d been all morning. Because flying is inherently stressful, what if I miss my plane

Anyone with more followers than me uses this website way too much. Anyone with fewer followers than me is uncool.

PSIS (pink and stink inversion syndrome) is very serious, and while weed can cause it, it’s actually more common with alcohol. But Big Beverage suppresses that research due to lobbying.

The Passion of the Christofascist

The strait of Hormuz is the McFlurry machine of the Middle East

I will reach across the aisle and unify us based on our shared appreciation of overpriced thermoses

Just saw a car in 2026 with an “impeach Obama” sticker on the window, above a “TRUMP” sticker, with a YETI decal. You know that Facebook page is wild.

It used to be so bad, folks. Life was so bad. They wore fig leaves to cover their parts. Fig leaves are very uncomfortable. Did you know that? No one talks about that. It used to be okay to be naked. They used to just be naked. Now, I like naked. God is pro-naked. But now we’re embarrassed.

#2 Factor Authentication

Integrating my Dokeda AI-powered toilet cam by Kohler with all the passwords on my phone so I can log into everything with FeceID

ME: (shivering, stripped naked and tied to a chair) Drag queens have pretty privilege…
CIA AGENT: Again. Do another.
ME: Please, I can’t, I—
CIA AGENT: (dousing me with a bucket of ice water) Another take! Hotter!
ME: (sobbing) Dating someone who needs glasses is a predatory power imbalance…

Critics can’t keep getting away with this*

*straightforwardly interpreting words

Extraordinary insight into a major turning point for SCOTUS.

A digital portait of Velociraptor with colourful turkey-like wattles around its face and neck.

A pencil portait of Velociraptor with open, drooling jaws.

A digital illustration of a baby Velociraptor sat in a nest of dry branches and leaves.

A digital illustration of Velociraptor, leaping with feathered arms outstretched towards Protoceratops - a small herbivorous dinosaur.

Today is Velociraptor Awareness Day.
Be aware. Be VERY aware… 😮😉🦖
(All art by me).
#SciArt
#VelociraptorAwarenessDay

idk why every time I go in the gas station to pay I get stuck behind a person doing their taxes

Picture of a bathroom sink with a separate hot and cold tap

Of course the sinks in the psychology building would force you to make some stupid ass choice

Picture of a bathroom sink with a separate hot and cold tap

Of course the sinks in the psychology building would force you to make some stupid ass choice

Also Happy Birthday 🎂

What things do you like now

The correct term is ‘messiappetizer”

Never trust a “just asking questions” guy. Every layer you peel back is just another bad opinion.