this to say: i'm still alive 🥴 xoxo

NYSCA FY26 GRANTEE new york state council on the arts

been trying to be quieter and post less as a general rule, and maybe it's working: i won a NYSCA grant to polish and sell this novel draft, and I genuinely couldn't be more excited or humbled to have been selected. onward!

(guy who has all the carrots) you know the problem with the left is all this talk about STICKS, they never want to talk about rewarding me with more CARROTS,

If you want to get in on something great, the Our Flag Means Death fandom is doing a craft fundraiser to benefit trans kids in the south, and there is some ding dang GORGEOUS stuff in there. they've already raised $25K! check it out 👇

glad to see that with all the turmoil in the country brands still have time to email me twelve times about the single pair of clearance underpants i accentally put in my bag for seven seconds

black and white cat on a leash in the snow

cat prints in fresh snow

my deck and night with cafe lights and the ground is covered in snow

it snew

photo of the novel MRS CALIBAN on my table next to a succulent

this book just changed my brain for the rest of my life what the fuck

a tiny white flower between my fingers

my string of pearls made a tiny flower 😩

water! in the basement. dad frantically rattling off a list of tools he wants to know if i have as though he is not the person who bought me every tool i own. "what do you mean you don't have a pipe cutter" dad did you personally buy me a pipe cutter? then i do not have a pipe cutter

it's a confusing way to win, people like Ham far too much for my preference, alas i will have no choice but to make the thing i wanted to make from the beginning (a leg of lamb)

angie jordan saying HAM! on 30 rock (people do like the way she says "ham")

had a dayslong conversation about xmas dinner wherein alan plead his case for Ham because his family are Ham Enjoyers—voices were raised, tears were shed, sliminess quotients were discussed ad nauseam—only to have the butcher be *completely sold out of Ham*

BABE 😩

black and white cat sitting on orange slides on a colorful rug and making an angry little face

he makes a big show of hating me for someone who sleeps in my slippers while i shower

big chat this afternoon about the novel draft and i am sweating out of my face about it

no moby dick i am going to hold on until the bones in my hands crumble to dust for how hard i am clutching

i am trying to overthink it slightly less, i guess

YES like this is a person with a 24/7 migraine who thinks heads just be like that, it has to be

i think the only real explanations are A) this person was fucking with them or B) this person has a constant low grade headache and just assumes head are supposed to feel that way

you're telling me you ALWAYS drink water AND sleep AND remember to eat and NEVER grind your teeth or forget your sunglasses or smell disagreeable perfume, you're saying you NEVER spend too long looking at a screen or driving or talking to an annoying relative or wake up the morning after 37 beers or

yesterday i met someone who told me they know someone who has never had a headache and i have not stopped thinking about that information for 24 hours

my yard covered in two inches of snow

good morning

me walking up to the giant pigeon statue on the high line

me and my new guru

whole day in nyc and as of this post i am, somehow, still in whamageddon

i grew up housing insecure and i still get really emotional that i get this little house to live in with my best friend. i have a little office, can you believe? 🥹💛

BIG UM. the line between a hallmark town and a true crime town is razor thin apparently

everyone in the nabe sorta hated him but still this was …. unexpected!

anyway how’s your friday

today i got nothing done because the guys renovating the little yellow house behind mine (its owner died last year and left it to a friend who was going to rent it out) found an attic full of DOLLS and a large enough cache of CSAM to warrant forty cops and a cadaver dog

our BOOKS NOT BANS shelves, with books in the program faced out

a sign for our BOOKS NOT BANS holiday book drive "how it works: buy a queer books (here), leave it with us or at the register, and we'll pack and mail it to a PFLAG in a book desert somewhere in the US. thank you!"

We're hosting a holiday drive with Books Not Bans: from now through January at the shop, you can buy one of the queer books off this shelf and we'll mail it to a PFLAG in a book desert to get it into the hands of people who don't have access to the kinds of books we do. Spread the love!

oh SO FAST. it would be on my desk 15 minutes after announcement. "Adjuster, why couldn't you have stayed calm for once?"