One of the many reasons I hate myself is I actually do have a favourite commedia dell’Arte character.

As an aside, possibly my favourite Onion gag of all time:

I imagine the many lute players in our mutuals are wetting themselves.

I don’t think anyone’s ever been seduced by someone getting their ukulele out.

Three panel comic. Panel 1: a man in a tie looks miserable, head in hands, while sitting at a bus stop in the city. He’s thinking, “can’t believe I have work today…” Panel 2: he looks up at the city to find it ablaze, actively being destroyed by the Cloverfield monster/kaiju. Panel 3: the man looks off to the side and makes a mildly surprised expression with a cute subtle smile.

Lynn Benfield looking disappointed and a bit angry

A friend of mine who lives in the midlands plays in a ukulele orchestra and I have to say they all sound a bit…zany.

I’ve never gone to a meet up but I can see me doing it. I am fully aware though how annoying some people find ukuleles but they’re quite addictive.

I think it’s a family trait. A couple of years ago I bumped into my auntie in Caithness and she was talking so much I had to ask her to slow down but all the time I was thinking shit it’s me as a woman.

In real life, whatever that is, I have moments where I really can’t shut up. It was useful when I was a stand-up but not off stage. An exasperated ex girlfriend once said, “This evening can you not do your act”

My other ukuleles are a tenor size and a baritone (which is basically a four string guitar) I started to go off the 8 string. It’s a bit of a novelty.

Proper horror novel covers and I’m not just saying that because your name is Herbert.

I had a moment literally two hours ago where I realised I was posting a lot of non connected nonsense. It’s possibly because I haven’t spoken to anyone all day and went a bit mad.

I’ll keep you posted! Thank you.

Desmond Morris obituary Zoologist, author and broadcaster who found fame with his groundbreaking 1967 book The Naked Ape

Desmond Morris obituary – zoologist, author and broadcaster who found fame with his groundbreaking 1967 book The Naked Ape

Silicon Valley has forgotten what normal people want Did the tech industry get high on its own supply?

"The people who tell us that AI will dominate our future and take our jobs are the people who are hoping that will be true. They may be hoping this because it makes them feel important, or because they want to be billionaires, or because they simply do not understand other people."

I did my proper laugh at this. Very good.

Ink drawing with pencil colours on white paper. No ground or sky drawn, just the whiteness. On the left stands a tall, narrow house, of which we can see the front and one side. Our POV is as if we are a little taller than the house, btw. In the front of the house are two windows, one on top of the other, showing darkness inside, and a door under these. In one of the windows and just outside the door are a few people, who look pretty much the right size compared to a house. On the side of the house though, is another door, which is not far off the size of the wall. It is wide open, out of which is floating a giant (compared to the people) ghost wolf, which is whistling. The wolf is transparent but with a swirly pattern in blue over his fur. Behind all this is a row of six trees, all looking like misshapen leaves - all have very thin trunks and the actual leaves take the form of orange gloopy masses either side of the trunks. No ground is drawn, but everything is casting long, blue shadows. In the sky, a moon, which we can see all of, but a crescent of it is coloured yellow while the rest of it is blue.

New picture. Another with a wolf. A ghost wolf. A whistling ghost wolf.

Me all day: "I'm so tired"

Also me, at 2am, taking a quiz to find out what kind of cheese I am:

And have you heard? Colman Domingo is literally a good actor! Revelatory.

I'm so mad this nonsense is everywhere...like if the Steve Coogan drama about Jimmy Saville was just about how he ended up being great at presenting Top of the Pops.

Redleg the two legged fox is one of my prints and it is of well a fox with two legs and a massive tale.

Tuesday is another of my prints and shows a cow being lifted by a flying saucer

The last thing I remember before I lost my clothes shows a highland cow with glowing eyes

A beautiful horse in the sunset shows a naively drawn horse with a smiley face its side.

My shop still exists. And you have lots of wall space and spare cash. What do you mean you "I live in a tent and need money for food and bills"? I don't understand. marswasrubbish.etsy.com

Zombies in my replies will be ignored.

You would have to be a corpse not to smile.

It is lovely isn't it. It's made me slightly worry I shouldn't get rid of it but I hardly touch it now but I play the other two all the time. I just find it a bit...tavern in Lord of the Rings. You know?

Oh no it looks fascinating I just thought that was a funny sentence.

The sad thing is if I sell it I will still have more than one ukulele.

The head of the 8 string ukulele

A frankly lovely 8 string ukulele

This is what it looks like by the way.

"He was pioneering new ways of climbing big walls"

If anyone in Edinburgh fancies an 8 string ukulele (I think it's a concert size) for 60 quid please ask. Local to save on postage. We could meet somewhere and swap cash for a ukulele. Like some kind of twee drug deal.

Suddenly all at once a million middle aged guitarists felt seen.

Purple Eiderdown.