Hence why I’m up at twenty to bloody two in the morning. I’ll be up at 6 to start the lamb (and all the veg I didn’t get round to doing).

Well. We have 10 over for dinner tomorrow. It’s Easter and youngest turns 10. I’ve been on my feet all day and yet; no veg prepared. I’ve been baking cakes, blowing up balloons and making cringey slide shows. Her actual party is Monday and I’ll also need to prepare for that. God loves a trier, hey!

Hark! The first ice cream van has been heard jingling away on my road. We’re on the up, everyone! 😎

The bear and I decided we’d do a little challenge for the Brit awards tonight…
Everytime we didn’t know a nominee, we’d have to take a shot. Well, perhaps we won’t do that next year as we’ve ran out of alcohol now

I’ve had a great day at work today. That is all.

What the bloody hell is matcha?

The neighbours are complaining about our gardeners work vans on the road. I get it, it’s a pain in the arse. We didn’t moan when it was their garden being done because what’s the point? Luckily for them I’ve just got my baking game back on. I think it’s time to make olive branch cake.

Oh please just piss off

Oi BBC- before you start cock-swinging about raising the TV license why don’t we have a quiet word about how depressingly dreadful your Christmas TV schedule was last year, huh?

That should be ‘88 😒

As if TOTP has reached 1999 over on BBC4. I remember watching it every Friday with a very good friend (remotely) every week during lockdown and we started at 88’!

I love my partner dearly. If only he would spare me the absolute brain-stabbing ache of showing me things on TikTok shop. Or TikTok altogether. I’m too sophis for this nonsense, pal.

Me to Me: do better
Also Me to Me: it’s so stressful right now you deserve 4 donuts & a double espresso caramel macchiato w extra whip cream

I understand that what I have just written may sound dodgy. ‘Hustle butter’ is some form of tattoo self-care stuff which was the nearest moisturiser-type product I could find in the ensuite. I cba to walk to my bathroom. Now I feel like I have Flora all over my face and I’m worried about my pillows

Talk about first world problems but I’ve been to a party tonight. That of my old big boss. It was an honour to be invited, however I have had three glasses of wine and thus have neglected my usual moisturising routine in favour of my partners ‘hustle butter’

Back to the grind today. Unfortunately it’s paired with the Jurassic park theme tune on constant loop in my head.

a man in a knight 's helmet stands next to another man with the word got written on the bottom ALT: a man in a knight 's helmet stands next to another man with the word got written on the bottom

I’m about 80% there now. Oh, and the food shop which happens tonight after work

I’m in the 5am wrapping club.

There are no tinned chocolates left in this house to calm me down either

The M6 was nothing short of torture today. 45 minutes late for work thanks to the northbound congestion, and a delightful drive home in what felt like a river with bonus waves flying in from the other carriage on the way home.

We’re now in ‘sounds like a job for January’ territory

Welcome to egg house. You too will reek of eggs on departure.

We have someone coming round today to fix our internal doors. I have ensured that the house is tidy and clean and smelling fresh. I continue to work from my office. My partner cooks fried eggs and doesn’t put the extractor on despite my daily nagging. We now smell like a greasy spoon. Eggs ffs.

Will I be judged if I take my hot water bottle to the school play?

I am literally sick of that ‘Diarrhoea- HUH’ advert.

I’m having one of those days when your head is in another place altogether. I’ve got people’s names wrong, misinterpreted spreadsheets, had a few dizzy spells...
Shouldn’t have got out of bed this morning 😵‍💫

I’m not a huge fan either, but I can confirm they were delicious!

Apparently, these are the cats pyjamas…

Rushing out the door like a maniac with the youngest this morning when, with multiple bags in hand she said “STOP!” and I’m like seriously, you’ve forgotten something?

Then she looked at me and said “hug” 🥺

Which recipes am I most likely not to cock-up this year?