Why are perfectly symmetrical spots on your face so much more embarrassing than anywhere else 😩

Sky commentary truly wild - “City are now JUST 6 points behind Arsenal - THE TITLE RACE IS ON”… like they’re not ending the week in exactly the same position as they started lol #LIVMCI

There’s a third team on the pitch at the emirates 🐦👀 #wsl #arsmci

Then came the sentence, the one that will echo forever.
Not difficult.
Not reversible.
Not something they could escalate.

Simply not possible.

There was long typing. A longer sigh. "I'm putting you on hold", he muttered.

By the fifth minute, I was already in a trance-like state from ASDA hold music, a ten second loop of elevator jazz that has now carved itself into my skull. I will hear it when I sleep. I will hear it when I die.

After battling the automated phone maze, I reached a man who simply could not accept that I was not an ASDA customer.

“You do not have an order number?” he said. “That is because the orders are not mine,” I replied, already feeling my sanity thin. “I am not Emma. I have never been Emma.”

They always hung up sounding unconvinced, as if I were pretending I did not want my own delivery.

Today was the breaking point.

Emma tried to reset her password five times in a row, and each time my phone buzzed with another ASDA text with her verification code. Finally, desperate, I called ASDA.

It started with the small things. Notifications announcing grocery orders that were not mine, messages asking if I was happy with substitutions for frozen peas, angry delivery drivers calling me because I (she) wasn't answering the door. I tried explaining.

For the last three years, I have been unwillingly and irreversibly entangled in the grocery shopping habits of a woman in Milton Keynes named Emma, who made one fatal mistake: she accidentally put my phone number on her ASDA groceries account.

And so the haunting began.

The last few weeks have felt living in some mad parallel universe. The club bus drove past the protest every home game. They can’t pretend they didn’t know the strength of feeling. Mind boggling.

Arsecast Extra Episode 647 - 07.07.2025 Arseblog Arsecast, The Arsenal Podcast · Episode

Mega props to @arseblog.com and @jmcnik.bsky.social for tackling the Partey situation head on where other podcasts have chickened out and hidden behind ‘legal proceedings’. open.spotify.com/episode/79PE...

still 17th in the premier league tho

Sorry but getting wound up about imaginary scenarios where predatory men are pretending to be trans to access women’s football is far worse whataboutery than being angry that footballing bodies do nothing when confronted with real life accusations of violence against women

the FA/PL/ clubs consistently deploy finger pointing at each other to evade policy decisions. (FA/PL: 'a player's accused of SA? that's a club matter'. Clubs: 'that's a matter for football bodies'). It's maddening that they can act on this non-issue abt trans people and not on actual serious stuff.

That convo is too nuanced to talk about on Bluesky. My point is it’s a dire to ban an entire community of people (who statistically pose no risk to women) on ‘safety’ grounds while having crap safeguarding policies for instances when individual players are accused of actually harming women.

CPS given file over Premier League footballer rape claims The prosecution service will make a charging decision after being handed an evidence file by police.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

*there, damnit

oh totally – my comment is more that it's a sad state of affairs and demonstrates a complete lack of perspective in society atm

CPS given file over Premier League footballer rape claims The prosecution service will make a charging decision after being handed an evidence file by police.

...and yet the are players in the men's premier league who have been accused of sexually assaulting multiple women and continue to play every week, and the FA has nought to say. this has nothing to do with 'protecting women'.

www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

FA says transgender women cannot compete in women's football from 1 June Transgender women will no longer be able to play in women's football in England following a policy change from the Football Association.

sorry but it's absolutely nuts that the FA can act so quickly to ban trans women from football on the grounds of 'safety', while at the same time have absolutely nothing to say about suspending players who have been accused of *actually sexually assaulting* women.

www.bbc.co.uk/sport/footba...

Have been listening to this solidly since I saw this post - thank you for reminding me this song exists ❤️

well they do they do say that arsenal need to be a bit more clinical in front of goal 😅

I got this one too 😂 he looks like Luigi Mangione and Mikel Arteta's love child

still high as a kite after an absolutely magical #ucl evening. So lucky to have been there 🥹 #arsenal

I feel obliged to warn you that ‘just a taster course’ is a very slippery slope 🤣 Look forward to seeing you on the throwdown next year x

when you work for an AI startup in shoreditch but end up in broadgate circus for post work drinks #PSVARS

You can have your cake! I (re)upholstered a 1970s Kukkapuro chair and it’s the absolute best. Comfy and stylish 👍

hahaha wait you've been to The Creamery? how did I not know this?!

🗣️📢 Calling all matchday Gooners!

Join us outside Emirates Stadium on February 22nd from 1pm. Make your voice heard in calling for accountability, transparency, and a commitment to safeguarding within the sport.

Stand with us against sexual violence in football!

When you say The Tiger, please tell me it’s this masterpiece