omg I laughed

KACEY @Kacey Musgraves Hey Mick if you zoom way into the videos you can also see a really clear angle of Bigfoot riding your mom Mick West @MickWest. Apr 10 The @Kacey Musgraves UFO sighting video has been identified by @flarkey as being 100% consistent with Starlink horizon flares. Her plane was in the flare zone for the entire flight, and the flares appeared in the right position, moving and fading at the same speed as seen on the x.com/TMZ/status/204... 5:01 PM - Apr 11, 2026 84.3K Views

I guess I'm a Kasey Musgraves fan now?

It’s been awhile - but your recommendation goes hard. Thank you.

I appreciate this a lot. This must be amazing for you and for them.

He just throws commas wherever, doesnt he?

Is it pronounced data or data?

Fucking Agholor

Sold. I’ll buy a bottle.

I’m gonna do Prosecco because I’ll drink enough that champagne will become cost prohibitive

What wine pairs best with uncrustables?

Shout out to buddy in the fresh Jordan’s and the ankle monitor. This Chuck E Cheese is better for your fashion choices.

these scientists seem like fuckin squares.

Chappell Roan.

That is all.

It’s the only person who would take about garden state with him

The sommelier at this Burger King is really bad.

Wife accused me of not wanting to discuss the elephant in the room. Dummy. If there was an elephant in this room it's the only thing I'd want to talk about. It would be a welcome distraction. What I'm actually avoiding discussing is our loveless marriage.

Please clap energy

You can run hamsters along the rear wheel lip. I want it.

As a universal rule

everything that you want for Palestinian people, I want that for you

Seagull ST1963 nerdy boy watch that is purposely not a smart watch on a guys wrist in a car

Normalize Regular Watch Weekends

There is a mansion in Indianapolis that Restoration Hardware had to buy because no human person in this city could afford it - it was time share money.

You know Hamilton was an interesting play but in retrospect are we really honoring a man that openly cheated? And also did a capitalism?

Plus Lin Manuel Miranda was curt with my cousins friends nephew on the train.

Just pour champagne into vodka and call it a day. Add celery.

Claude is writing it now.
Sorry Claude wrote it now.
It is bad.

My heart just skipped

The national shortage of whipped cream canisters, driven by Silicon Valley biohackers microdosing dairy foam for “cognitive stacking,” is now jeopardizing the structural integrity of Midwestern pumpkin pies ahead of Thanksgiving.

Malice is the best rapper of 2025.

That’s insane.

I’m not convinced anyone who isn’t an employer has ever purchased papa John’s pizza.

LC500 >>

A car sticker that says I heart catturd - it’s the catturd2 avi from twitter

This is… initially annoying but I honestly wish more people would make it obvious I don’t need to know them.