Maybe there was a reason the internet used to scream at us when we switched it on

H-A-P-P-Y_F_R_I_D_A_Y

Good morning tops remember you are important no matter what bottoms with 3k followers say

😂 same

Should I have a lazy weekend? 😎

Mine too

✌🏻

Chug chug chug, down to the pub 🍻

Oh I’m not far off it though

How old are you?

Well this morning I sneezed and pulled my back out, old

Time to break out the big gun, huns

I get a lot of “You look familiar…”

Always me: yeah, you watch a lot of gay porn?

🥵

I love listening to pissed people’s conversations on the tube

I like being short. I’d hate to be looking at the tops of peoples heads all the time

Do you ever wonder if your recorded call has been used for training purposes?

How hot is it?

Random guy on his phone: “I’m sweating out of my bellend”

My team (me) treat

Don’t forget to slip, slap and slop! 😎☀️

I want a boyfriend* with a spaniel

*nothing heavy, just a regular doggy playtime thing

**this, but a spaniel (sorry Rusty)

There’s nothing better than northern fish & chips! Are you a curry sauce or a mushy peas guy?

Manchester turn the frier on

I want to join a gay cycling group. But not those who cycle 100km in a day wearing Lycra then cycle home all sweaty.

More the kind that cycle 5km and reward themselves by stumbling in to a country pub for Sunday lunch and have way too much booze. Does this exist?

Man, don’t even try giving me yo weak beef!

Nothing beats living in London when it’s like this. Sun shining, breakfast alfresco, dead rat floating past. Best city in the world

I went to Canada (house) today 🇨🇦😎

Never heard of it, but I’m howling at the trailer

Beautiful people

Yum

Hi I’m Chris, and I’m a Haribo addict

Haha, I am always very slow, there’s never a stretch without moorers