Ngl, I hate April fools day SO MUCH, but I really love ninja turtles all over Roku City…

PRETZEL DOOOOGGGGGSSSSS

Sourdough English muffins!

Laissez les bon temps rouler, friends!

“Chips. Popcorn. Chex mix.”

“Cicero. Lipshitz.”

TFW you find an appointment on your calendar called “fingertrap office visit” and you cannot remember what that actually is

So you look up the address in the appointment and you realize it’s the Dr. who you are going to see so you can get an endoscopy and a colonoscopy on the same day

TY, PAST ME!

I did it y’all! I made a small soup! Please clap.

I wish everyone a very merry Bad Bunnymas!

YESSS! Cricuts are SO FUN! I’ve made some pretty stupid tshirts 🤣🤣🤣

It is hard enough for me to navigate this world and try to find accommodations to begin with only to have able, average-sized people automatically take them so they can have a place to put their bag.

Fuck you. I will call out this shit every single time.

I STG there were 20 average sized chairs, 2 wide chairs, and 3 total other people in the waiting room. The 2 wide chairs had average sized people in them.

I had to go to the middle of the room and say, CAN I SIT IN ONE OF THE BIG CHAIRS PLEASE?!

PSA: If you are a person of an average size or smaller, and you are in a waiting room, DO NOT SIT IN THE WIDE CHAIRS. Those are there for people like me whose asses cannot be contained. Go sit in the many chairs that can accommodate your body, and stay out of the ones that accommodate mine.

Please tell me that the children know about El DeBarge

Ok but like L. L. Peen is an incredible drag king name.

Forgot to post this chicken n dumpling 🌽

Bro I will never get over a place that is supposed to be fully accessible where there are so many chairs with arms. Like come the fuck on.

You have proven yourself to be highly soup worthy, Luc! I STG I WILL PACK SOME UP RIGHT NOW!!!

Who needs blood when you have SOUP?!

Aaaand I forgot to add the mushrooms, so now we’re pivoting to a pot pie soup from a dumpling soup. I’ll just add a little cream 🤣🤣🤣

I’ve got about an inch and a half of clearance at the top of this one, which would be great if I wasn’t putting dumplings on top…
SOUP 👏🏻 HUBRIS 👏🏻

This new tiny coffee pot is loud as hell. Gurl, what do you have to complain about, I’m literally asking you to do exactly what you’re supposed to be doing!

Oooh! I love lasagna soup!

Ya know, I haven’t had borscht in foreverrrrr… I like beets, but MsJeff isn’t a fan

A favorite! But I’m making spaghetti and meatballs on Wednesday, so I don’t want to get over-balled 🤣🤣🤣

What soup should I make this week?

What on earth…

We’re at “daily affirmations on the back of cereal boxes” level of facism…

Bringin the sourdough starter to the show 🤣🤣🤣 (to give to a friend)

Hi friends! It’s me! Bubba Boom! Chicago’s fattest drag king with the biggest hugs in drag here to remind you of a few things:

Facism relies on people upholding and enforcing thin, white beauty standards

Fatphobia is rooted in racist, colonial, and capitalist beliefs

FUCK ICE. FREE PALESTINE.

“I’m talking Vernor’s Zero Sugar niche!”