mildly amusing personal discovery: within a week of setting up this account i've decided it's a much better to use this one and hang out with the nsfw crowd for my everyday scrolling. switching back over to main is way too stressful and i don't like it there

that's a very familiar feeling. thinking back about times when i've not been owned, i didn't handle it well at all. i was able to get by, but life should be more than mere survival. you deserve joy and peace. i sincerely hope you find it

i always wonder why the shift happened. was it hormones? or social conventions? or just the fact that there are now way more men than women in my dating pool? but i suppose it doesn't really matter. i want what i want. and in any case as an owned submissive what i want most is to please my dominant

sexual orientation is so strange sometimes. i've always been bisexual, but always a little more straight than gay. which is weird when you're trans: before i transitioned i was mostly attracted to women (but also men sometimes) and now i'm mostly but not exclusively attracted to men. it's unsettling

thank you! ❤️

i'm kind of glad i finally decided to create an nsfw alt to talk about these kinds of things. it's nice to have one place where i can openly talk about my submissiveness, and not have people tell me it's a character flaw. i choose to submit to him, and he is good to me

my absolute favourite non-sexual benefit to submissive training is anxiety management. life is stressful, and i don't cope with it well when i am unowned. but when i am owned, i feel calmer, even without explicit help from my dominant. simply reminding myself of my submission to him is enough

monday morning again. i don't want to do work, i want my owners cock inside me. life is unfair

Likewise. Visuals are nice, sure, but I like reading and imagining so much more

sigh. as expected. it's the day after and i've been unconsciously clawing at my skin craving sensation again. i admire his ability to torture me this effectively and effortlessly without even touching me. istg i've had canings that were easier. but i seem to have pleased him, so i am happy

for someone whose sex life used to be extremely active and very slutty, a life of tease, chastity, and deprivation is an strange change. he knows this, of course, and i think he enjoys knowing that his control over me is that strong. it's weirdly healthy for me too. i am so much calmer these days

my very first act of submission to him was giving him control over when i cum. i thought he'd deprive me for a few weeks it's been over a year. i try so hard to be obedient. he keeps me on a slow drip feed of almost getting what i want but never actually getting it, and it is really fucking intense

i confess i love that he uses my kinks against me, to assert control over me. there are so many raw desires i'm not permitted to indulge in anymore, simply because my master says so. i am his plaything now. he enjoys how utterly desperate he makes me feel, simply by not using me as much as i want

master has said i'll be allowed a little of the pain, arousal, and violation i crave this weekend. it won't be anywhere near enough. i'll get a little taste, just enough to remind me of what i'm being denied, then i am to go back to my chaste life. it's been a year of this: it's *very* good torture

friday night. a little tipsy. happily letting myself have good feelings - i am owned, and my owner enjoys his use of me. sometimes the world is good

Makes sense. I've had some lovely moments with those guys - it's pretty fabulous to be their first experience with my world. Being in the room when they learn this thing about their own wants and needs is pretty cool. But also, sometimes it goes down a dark path. That part isn't pleasant

I think so, but in a nuanced way. The "heteroflexible" label is their way of signalling that they might be okay with an MMF threesome, and might be okay with a trans woman. But they don't want to do a pure MM gay thing. They need some "girl vibes", in a way that bi men don't always need

ooh i have a theory because i have the same feeling. sleeping naked is just "yep im not wearing clothes and whatever". but just a t-shirt? you can feel you're partially dressed. part of your mind tells you that you're fit for public consumption. and yet... you're also wildly exposed. it's... a lot

cackling. all the men on feeld in sydney seem to be heteroflexible and at this point it's just annoying

i have new instructions from master. i love this for me

same. not my thing :)

Not my favourite term either. It feels too cutesy?

not a recent photo, but i like it. and anyway today i need to remind myself that sometimes i like how i look

yet again feeling grateful that i am able to have a stable d/s relationship in my life. i feel calmer and safer accepting his control over me, knowing that (and dear god this is a novel experience for me) he isn't doesn't abuse that power. i could get used to this

the visceral difference between the kind of sex i crave when i'm stressed or anxious, and the kind of sex i daydream about when i'm feeling good. oof. not very subtle

five hours into my workday and istg the only thing i want to do with the rest of it is get bent over my desk and fucked until the stress evaporates

so obvious that he does it on purpose knowing that i'm not permitted to do anything about my sudden arousal except lie here feeling tortured. i should never have let him know how much i enjoy it

constantly surprised at how easily he can reduce me to a shivering, desperate mess with nothing more than a short text message telling me what he's thinking of doing to me. very unfair leverage

frustrating day, and i need an outlet for this tension. extremely annoyed that i'm not on my knees servicing him

start the story at the beginning, in case anyone asks. i am what it says in the bio, and the account exists entirely because i'd rather not talk about my sex life on main. apparently it's considered gauche to talk about my life as a submissive in professional circles