there is only one hope for humanity- the synthesizer

We’ve been forgotten at the bottom of some kid’s backpack

poop smells like dog poop

poop smells like dog poop but im human

poop smells like dog poop but im human reddit

(as a donkey walks by)

ah the noble donkey!

(donkey moves out of earshot)

foolish beast

let’s keep it PG okay children use this site

“Disgusted by his behavior but will hold my nose and vote for him if my only other options are women, minorities, or anyone who wants to tax billionaires”

J. Zone Maandig-Reznor

I don’t have your address so I’m just putting the cash in an unmarked envelope- can you do me a favor and address it when it gets to you?

shot from the movie In Bruges where Colin Farrell is holding a gun to his own head, while Brendan Gleeson stands behind him also pointing a gun at Farrell’s head.

how it feels to live in the US

yeah man i'll circle back to you on that agenda item from yesterday's all hands in just a sec. our pedophile king just threatened to destroy a whole civilization

If he'd claimed he teleported to any place besides Waffle House I'd say obviously he's full of shit. But Waffle house...

“Chicago pizza isn’t real pizza” is the “I hate the word moist” of food takes

Inhalation is still the top way to get stuff into the lungs

A digitally drawn recreation of a chalkboard gag from The Simpsons opening credits. Bart is being held after school and forced to repeatedly write ‘Maybe it will happen today’ on the chalkboard.

The mind is the Gun of the brain

my brother: so after Deb retires from Pfizer we’ll probably sell the house up north and move to Hermosa.

me: nice that’s cool. you know the Hatchet Gang? it’s like 80 guys with hatchets. they are after me. they think i stole a relic but i didn’t. it’s a long story. can i smoke out back?

remember not to trust anything you see or hear today

a medieval style digital drawing of an androgynous brown-skinned knight on horseback on a hill, stabbing a long gold spear into a blue dragon on the ground. the knight has a gold halo behind their head and wears a suit of silver armor with a nonbinary flag striped tunic and a trans flag as a cape. their horse is white, with blue tack with trans pride trim. there is black gothic text at the top and bottom of the image reading “A world without trans people has never existed and never will.” there’s an ornate pale blue border around the image, filled with pink and blue scrollwork, gold hearts filled with colorful flowers, a smiley bat, two smiley moles, and two smiling frogs holding up trans flags.

a world without trans people has never existed and never will

I heard theyre gonna replace oxygen w slurge as what we breath to live

when it comes to the Pump, pain is on the menu

Whispering the word "poison" in your ear, thereby poisoning you with word poison.

new term for male penis: henis

to the tune of papa don’t preach

i do take some comfort knowing that stephen miller will never be able to dine in a restaurant for the rest of his life

i hope a werewolf doesnt fall in love with it

Happy Binturong Justin!

I can’t have been the only one to spot actor Dann Florek in this week’s The Pitt. Florekheads drop an extra N in the comments if you agree he’s a Dann Fine Performer!

sorry i never responded to your email, i didn't want to and then i forgot

today i will only be half listening and quarter responding