If you farmed your followers and you aren’t following them back then you are not a good farmer

Hear me out… a riches to rags movie titled “Living in the Lapse of Luxury”

If Ariel knew how to read and write (she signed the contract with Ursula), why didn’t she just write out the fact that she lost her voice when she went to the castle with Erik.

I want to get this tattooed on my penis:

One cock ring to rule them all

My wife just used the term mansplaining wrong and now I’m conflicted*

*stolen from TikTok

I’m on board

Apple Employee: …and you can download apps to your wearable device

Me: not on my watch

My parents used to do it all the time actually. Back in the 70s

Quote repost with yours!

WIFE: I’m so bored

ME: we could have sex

WIFE: not that bored

WIFE: I’m so bored

ME: we could have sex

WIFE: not that bored

Nope it was a haiku:

Just a reply guy
Tryin hard not to comment
On your dumbass tweet

I think I wrote a “reply guy” parody song on Twitter. Not mansplainy but kinda funny. I’ll see if I can find it.

Guilty

Yep. There is. Haven’t played it though.

Grrr *reposted it

I wrote this on Twitter in 2019. Reported it here when I joined two days ago.

The struggle is real yo

Thanks. At 56 years old I’m hoping to make it another 44 trips around the sun.

One of the better punch lines I’ve seen today.

Burger King is the poor man's Red Robin and Arby's is the poor man's Arby's

Bwahahahaha!!!

The first ever Halo game was so much fun and so satisfying to beat.

Not so much lately. I left Twitter quite a while ago and stopped writing. I only just joined Bluesky a couple days ago as I’m feeling creative again.

We didn’t want to go with bleat? Or would that be too sheepish?

I will if you will.

Coins dropped in oceans
Create symphonies in waves
Jazz in the ripples

What the hell is a skeet?

I’m old