Had to finally put down my wired 360 controller that i've been using for like 15 years. Bro was family. I don't even feel like throwing it away, I gotta bury this thing.

They call me white Morgan Freeman

Jacking off while Pompeii was exploding must have felt so good

I need a knight to joust me in the liver as soon as is reasonable

Giving my chud son another canister of Galaxy Gas

Pussy that looks like an H.R. Geiger painting

Performing Chinese penis torture on Jordan Peterson

Fred Fields, Mindflayer, 1992

according to the instagram algorithm i am an absolute goon wizard

Loosing both testicles and my Mountain Dew Xbox in a game of Cee-lo

Conjuring locust plagues above D.O.G.E headquarters

pulled apart by 4 cybertrucks would be the funniest way for him to go, i think

Letting my homunculus join the goonsesh

Plugging my gunshot wounds with the ShamWow

Crane kicking myself in the dick

Applying my freshly gooned jizz to my epidermis

Need a woman who will punch me in the liver and steal all my money

Loosing both testicles and my Mountain Dew Xbox in a game of Cee-lo

The only way to save America is to introduce Trump to Balatro

Only those who have had true divine revelations will know that Jesus wasn't white, black or middle eastern but instead Chinese

Bringing these on my trip to Paris

Paying in Japanese Yen is the only way

Pimping out my grandma's ashes

It fucking was, like the instructions to make this were beamed into my head by God himself

Natto and Tofu scramble on rice with a garnish of green onions

Cooked up straight fire while geeking out

High on edibles signing financial documents

Funneling drywall into my pussy