Neo-Nazi finds a genie and wishes that the "good guys" won World War 2. The genie grants his wish. The Neo-Nazi goes to his window and sees statues of the worshipped leader. He realizes the terrifying truth: the entire world was conquered by Zog I of Albania.
Hire me to write a new Twilight Zone pls
Bluechewsky
People say this a lot but in this case it really is accurate: this is the backstory of Dune.
NIXON: —Becomes, Bob—she says she becomes so much a, a homosexual, when she drinks “tequila.” I’ve never heard of that, that particular liquor, Bob—
MCNAMARA: It’s Mexican, sir.
NIXON: Hm. [INAUDIBLE] sworn it was Chinese. And she’s…
MCNAMARA: [INAUDIBLE]lish.
NIXON: I see.
When the Infamous Dunce takes a controversial position: if you find yourself on the same side as the Infamous Dunce its time to look in the mirror
When the Infamous Dunce takes a controversial position I agree with: If even the Infamous Dunce can figure this out why can’t you?
Person who’s been on BlueSky for 1 month: Howdy there newbies! Just a lil’ reminder- to be a rootin’ tootin’ poster you gotta oppose fascism in all yer skeets!
Recent twitter migrant (quote tweeting): its time to consider suicide
Australian who just heard that his son died: OHHHHHH NAAAAAAAUUURRRR
Why am I still Obama innuour contacts
They always get mad about #BobDylan "Going Electric," but what they never tell you is that it's because he immediately used his powers to fight Spider-Man.
If elected President, I also plan to correct the Pope on matters of theology, in a way that makes it gradually clear I've mixed up Catholicism with Klingon spirituality. Then I'll invite him to the White House and present him with a copy of the Paq'batlh, bound in human skin.
It’s profoundly ignorant to suggest that the Pope should be fighting crime on behalf of the Catholic Church. Anyone who was remotely familiar with Roman Catholicism would know that that’s what Daredevil is for
Canadian Sci-Fi: Shot in Vancouver but really wants you to believe it's LA.
Penny's uncle moments before his fateful accident.
Why is she dressed like Yeoman Rand
#SabrinaCarpenter #startrek
what if artemis ii lands in the strait of hormuz
YouTube thumbnail for “When Cops Realize Their Colleague Is A Sneakers O'Toole Expert”, showing a cop looking dumbfound with the text “He didn’t take his sneakers off” next to him
School but epic
A headline that says Why Did Voltaire say the thing about the HRE he said
Cuz he was a hating ass bitch, that's why!
JD Vance? I prefer J.V. Dance! #joebidentwerkchallenge!
JD Vance: they/them pronouns? a bit more like they/them faux-nouns to me!
Trump: we need to do 9/11 to Mexico
If you fart in the game you fart in real life!!! #knowledge
Hating Hasan because of some kind of coordinated smear campaign to cherry pick things he said years ago is moronic when you could easily hate him for being annoying and not very good at streaming and being carried by how hot he is.
That energy cage thing is a neat form of peril.
I have a lot of ideas on how to fix the world but they’re all bad so I keep them to myself
#chipsanddip
An animal abuser, a pedophile, and a serial killer walk into a bar. The bartender says “What the fuck? You guys need to leave right now.”
Episode of #ThePitt where Patch Adams shows up and Mel gets scared and has to hide in a broom closet
Also I can't vote in the election I am Canadian.
Beshear and it's not even close. Not my favorite guy in the world but the easiest choice here.
My opinion of the campus protests is that they let a guy who raped a prisoner with a knife on camera on Israel's Got Talent and that's probably not in the top fifty most disgusting stories from the currently ongoing slaughter of Palestinians.
