“And Moses asked God, ‘What is best in life?’ And God spake, saying ‘To crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of the women.’”

One judge from each circuit, rotating in and out on a fixed schedule. Please.

It's gonna take hours to get rid of these hives.

All of this can be easily avoided by simply attending a state school. Circuit court judges won't even read our resumes, ergo problem solved.

You beat me to “Popesplaining!”

a woman is wearing a santa hat and saying gretchen stop trying to make fetch happen it 's not going to happen ALT: a woman is wearing a santa hat and saying gretchen stop trying to make fetch happen it 's not going to happen

They're never going to make Turning Point cool. And they're DEFINITELY never going to make Turning Point cool with those two.

The first rule is that teenagers can never have the right amount of sex.

I knew I kept that border tape for a reason!

He just wrote out the entire rest of the passage much like SCOTUS wrote out "A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State."

Or is it… “heel”

He won’t stop vamping on my NYT front page! His AI-powered legal thirst for me is unseemly!

An AI generated image depicting Trump wearing a Jesus outfit, healing the sick and eliciting worshipful stares from a variety of white people. In the background are national monuments, a big ol’ American flag, and naturally, a fighter jet.

Captions please.

Why don't you pass the time by playing a little solitaire?

Listen, the ability to withstand Donald Trump’s presence in your personal space without reflexively trying to stab him with your car keys does not reside in many of us.

The all caps makes it extra lawyery.

I don't know about you, but I feel really weird just going about my business today, particularly because "my business" is supposed to be teaching people that the rule of law matters.

We went to that with a bunch of friends! We were Alps.

I am not sure what this is about substantively, nor do I want to find out because I’m busy, but I just think it’s so, so strange to use a platform to announce that no one who uses the platform has integrity.

The world thanks you for this contribution.

Things I never thought I’d say to myself: “It’s such a relief that originalists refuse to acknowledge the existence of airplanes.”

Disagree only as to your use of “asks.”

Mandatory life sentences for second-degree murder are unconstitutional, Pa. Supreme Court rules The decision could reshape a portion of state law that many criminal justice advocates and some public officials have long targeted for reform.

Mandatory life sentences for second-degree murder are unconstitutional, Pa. Supreme Court rules share.inquirer.com/cSote3

I think a massive problem is that he has an unattributed co-author. If you want to do this, fine, but name your coauthor like those of us who work with, you know… people.

Or, How to Get Kneed in the Balls in Four Easy Steps

The invisible hand of the market will take care of it.

All of us wraiths from the Valley of Fetterman Regret are calling out to you to turn back.

Pro tip: if you are co-parenting a toddler, one of you will be the hypervigilant parent and the other one will tell that person to calm down a lot. This is normal and you are both wrong.

Congratulations on keeping the human alive for a whole year! The sleep gets better in my experience but for the next couple of years the “keeping human alive” part gets HARDER as they become more mobile but just as foolish.

If I can’t enjoy a good zinger, I don’t want to be part of your apocalypse.