I get it, believe me.
I recently accepted a job with a veterinarian who does house visits.

I will seduce you through the ancient art of hating what you hate.

I’m way ahead of you, my friend 😁

I’m a hard working lazy person.

I’ve held doors open for people I should’ve pushed off a cliff

oh Jake, you just ‘get’ me

I’m so sorry and I feel this

Chuggie is pleased with your reply

Fanks

You’re not wrong

Make more time for the people who at least meet you halfway

But enough about me...

Tell me about your dog.

Ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to tell everyone to go fuck themselves and I rescued a cat who wants the same thing

Two Mourning Doves at a bird feeder with a built-in camera. One dove is in profile, very close to the camera, and appears to be looking at it, and the other dove is further back, but also looks like it’s staring straight into the lens.

These two Mourning Doves at my feeder cam look like they just rang my doorbell because Tony Soprano sent them to collect a debt I owe.

been a while since someone talked about gleeking

I’m not proud of it but if Forrest Gump started talking to me on a bench I’d have left

I swear to god if i see another fucking person posting with a pic of their cat or dog i will like it and possibly leave a delightful reply

jesus christ just tell us if it’s maybelline

I know some of you from the old country*

*Twitter

Vintage comicbook panel, showing a woman in a nurse's uniform gripping cell bars. Top: "She, too, is in a cage ..." Notice on cage: "Wild human Female. Very rare. Do not annoy."

Monday Mood

A new Star Wars series about a shady Sith lawyer will be titled Better Call Maul.

if you love it so much why don’t you marry juana

I don't smoke weed so I celebrated 4/20 by inhaling an entire bag of Cheetos and a sleeve of Oreos

😃Are 🫵you🫵 smiling yet?

Xo

thank you to the glorious @margaretgracemills.bsky.social for purchasing and modeling my Trans Lives Matter shirt - 100% of the profits from every sale go to the Trevor Project and the National Transgender Center For Equality, so if you wanna be as cool as Margaret GET ONE NOW I HAVE SPOKEN

every night I like to play a game called How Many Sad Things Will Make Me Cry Tonight. I win every time

No, I’m going back to bed now. It’s 3 AM.

I’m on EST

In all the lessons in school about drugs and peer pressure, they never taught us about Girl Scout Cookie time.