Mini penne With a photo of a mall miniature penne pasta

*Sean Connery voice

That explains the dubious stains in the foyer

There should also be a 2026 edit of *A View to a Kill* where James Bond finds out about the plot to destroy Silicon Valley, thinks for a moment, and then wanders off, hands in pockets, whistling.

A colleague didn’t recognise me in my glasses so I tried to joke “I’m Clark Kent” but accidentally declared “I’m Ken Clarke”

Did somebody say bev regino?

Tom Skinner with JD Vance

"Tom, you should be really careful how you say the word BOSH"

Garth Marenghi saying "But I'm not Jesus Christ. I'm actually a doctor. I've come to accept that now.

You can tell tonight's Michael McIntyre show is a repeat with the words, "Who doesn't love this man?.....GINO D'ACAMPO!"

Hot Chocolate first draft was way off

Supergrass lead singer
#TOTP

To the owners of the house at the tip top of REDACTED where it intersects REDACTED: Would you please consider parking your tacky awful Cybertruck in the garage? It's so ugly and I am tired of looking at it, not to mention how tired I am of explaining to my three year old why someone would invent a car that looks like it resents its own existence. I know your gigantic house has a garage on it somewhere. Thanks

Darryl from East Richmond Heights says "Mother of the year. Teaching a three year old about body shaming even if it’s a truck."

over on nextdoor a guy named darryl has told me i'm a bad mother because i taught my three year old to "body shame" cybertrucks

See yer da finally went on that holiday of a lifetime

FIRST LADY MELANIA TRUMP DELIVERS REMARKS AT WHITE HOUSE

“And while we’re at it, Ted Cruz is definitely not the Zodiac Killer.”

Mrs Trump

“Just read another story about me being locked in attick, completely false.”

Melania Trump at a podium, flanked by two USA flags.

"I mean, I'm not on the child protection register......YET!"

If you see this drop a hero with a sword

Legitimately, give me a period-piece sequel to this. Give me the fallout of Superman's secret identity being outed as part of the Watergate scandal. I am ITCHING to read this story.

If only someone was desperate to impress Jodie Foster right now

The interior of the Orion capsule on the Artemis II mission to the moon. A jar of Nutella is floating around the cabin

Mike Myers as Wayne, from Wayne's World, holding a piece of pizza and smiling while holding a pizza hut box prominently showing the logo

#ArtemisII

I saw *cough* Coldplay supporting Muse at the Glasgow Garage *even bigger cough* 26 years ago.

Also saw Oasis in a tent at T in the Park in 1994. Think shakermaker had just came out. That was brilliant to be fair.

Yer ma after a glass of Pinot

I have never seen an albino fry-up like this in the wild before.

Showing me showing you

Artemis ii

forgot the most important of the genre