❗ REMINDER ❗
04/23/26

Did you throw your brick at a fascist today? 🫵

"Sleep" must sound like such a stupid word to non-english speakers. Gleep glorp ass word.

Just so you know, there aren't any overalls at Ross or Marshalls, in case you were planning on going later.

*boggles ur knees*

Why can I only boggle minds? Why can I not boggle other things?

Basically possum springs

Rubbing that bean so fast I got her screaming in braille

Taking an extra 45 seconds at the checkout counter to write "Boutta' go PIG WILD" as my electronic signature.

You can legally throw bricks at cops if you just say it's satire.

Okay, #JackSepticEye, you are literally handling my favorite piece of media ever created.

Do. Not. Fuck. This. Up.

You're fine, not trying to make anyone feel bad or anything. Nbd. Just wasn't expecting conversion therapy to be thrown at me out of this lmao

I was just being silly like damn, I wasn't gonna get anywhere near that serious about it. Yes it's a horrifying concept, jeez.

*Latches onto your feed like a barnacle* :3

Plus the concept seems so cozy, like my consciousness would absolutely cozy up next to all of y'all in the hive mind soup.

Who up ramen' they noodle?

Who up dunkin' they donut?

I'll have the hibachi ketamine pwease

Every day I mourn the cigarettes I'm not smoking.

You know those big jugs of fireball whisky they sell, the ones with the handles?

Probably not that but it could be worth a try.

This time I'm mistaken, for handing you a baby worth shakin'

When an obviously queer person tells me they have no specific pronouns, I assume they're a cool gender freak.

When an obviously cis person tells me they don't use pronouns, I assume they're kind of stupid and probably unvaccinated.

Life's funny like that.

Welcome back to lyric analysis with Jade! ✨

"Way down yonder on the Chattahoochee" - The Chattahoochee is a river, primarily in Georgia!

"It gets hotter than a coochie choochie" this means... erm, well... oh goodness, hehehe... 😳☺️

2014 me vs now

Ya know it was funny for a while but I think legally changing my name to "MyFriendJade" just so I could run this account was a mistake overall.

Feel free. Personally I'm trying to quit so if you could just do it outside that'd be great.

an 80s synth power ballad about how good it feels to remember to water your plants.

Just did something evil. 😈

Not gonna say what it is, but erm, let's just say his refrigerator wasn't LITERALLY running haha

Jesus Christ y'all keep flocking to me like ants on egg salad.