How do you quantify Odd-toed Ungulates?
Use a Tapir measure!

This will be where Rimmer auditions for The Voice.

The image is of an owl in phoenix flames, with the message 3850 day learning streak.

Still doing Duolingo.

This Geocache was easy to find
Because it’s in my hat.

More necklace repairs today. The first is a multiple string which had become tangled. I was able to replace the jump rings and silver-solder them closed. The second string has beads that needed to be restrung in the correct order, and a new clasp fitted. All finished and ready for return

Marble Effigy knight (in olde English): “Myn effigy hath no nose.” Mrs Marble Effigy: “How shalt ye smell?” Marble Effigy knight: “Verily terrible!”

Marble effigies seen at St John the Baptist, Tideswell. The noses of both have been broken off.

An ode to rain: you dribbling pest, You soak my socks, you damp my vest. You slip beneath my trusty brolly, And leave my trousers damp and soggy. You slyly infiltrate my shoe, And spoil the fam’ly barbecue. You flood the drains and drown the sewers, But somehow miss the reservoirs.

It’s been raining all day, and subsequently this leaked into my brain.

This coffee machine brought to you by SpaceX

You thought you were going to do some work?
You were wrong!

Spring When the pollen Starts fallen. And your eyes Seize While you Sneeze.

A poem about the effects of Spring.

Just discovered my new keyboard has a power off button.
Paws trod on it.

Cutting out card Roman helmets. Paws is on quality control.

The string of pearls broke in the middle. No pearls were lost because they were knotted in place.

Beginning the new string of pearls. Knots are tied between each pearl on the silk thread.

The necklace is completed with a new clasp.

Re-stringing pearls for aged parent. Fiddly work but very calming.

Later on this evening, we will feature a documentary about the famous British clipper, “Cutty Sark” While on BBC2 our consumer affairs reporter investigates a sandwich shop that charges over £10 for just two slices of bread and butter, the “Butty Shark” And on BBC3 our home decoration show looks at how to identify mould in your glazing - that’s “Putty Dark”.

Some more nonsense…

Morning Star, Your Phosphorid light shines Through my window pane. My Venus 'gainst dawn's bright'ning... Oh! It's just an aeroplane!

After the recent planetary alignment, I remembered this poem about seeing Venus that I wrote in 2021.

My finished box of craft foam lemons for kids to find at the pancake party.

A lemon shape cut out of craft foam with the message “The lemon is in play”

Making lemon tokens to hide around for kids to find at the pancake party on Tuesday afternoon.
With a nod to John Finniemore.

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Paws, being a tart.

I wrote some nonsense.
#poetry

A wooden box lid, laser etched with the message, “Mrs Lakin-Hall’s Bottom Drawer.”

My wife just retired from teaching and I was handed this gift to bring home.
I’m assuming it’s full of small bottoms.

The label says “You light up our school”

Parents’ evening tonight.
I got a sticker.

Tissues folded. Tissues neat. Tissues wrapped around a sweet. Tissues small or Jumbo sized. Tissues used to wipe your eyes. Tissues crumpled. Tissues snotty. Tissues used to wipe your botty. Tissues squishy. Tissues sneezes. Tissues tucked into your sleeve-ies. Tissues borrowed Tissues lent Tissues super absorbent

Another poem. This one is about tissues.
#sillyverse

No doubt it will contain a ham sandwich

Another day of being expected to teach Computer Science but being bumped out of the computer rooms.
Nothing tells students and teachers how valuable your subject is when you get pushed out to a room without computers in it, but are still expected to carry on as normal.

Clearly neither orifice is watertight.

Paws is the supurrvisor.
#cats

The grass is green. The rain is wet. I try to remember. But I forget. The wind sighs slowly Through the trees. I try to remember Where are my keys. All is at peace. I’m all alone. I try to remember Where is my phone? My head fell off It rolled away. I try to remember. What to say. My attention’s gone. There’s no regret. I try to remember. But I forget.

I did a poem.

I always love receiving calls from recruitment agencies. I’ve had two call today to ask if I’m interested in a Computer Science teaching role in a town near me.
They sound so disappointed when I explain that’s the school I’m leaving.

I’m hiding here under a table As my mental health’s really not stable. So I’d just like to say Would you please go away I am coping as much as I’m able.

I wrote this for National Poetry Day in October 2023. I’m having an “under the table” day today.