Two playoff goals.
My kingdom for an edit button, ffs.

Kasperi Kapanen becomes first Oilers player to score two playoff games with a name that sounds like a magic spell.

broke: mcdavid and draisaitl
bespoke: dickinson and kapanen

Bro have you even tried being whimsical about it?!

I rarely ever humblebrag

I’m having a Costco hot dog themed birthday this year

i’m such a tradwife that i can’t climax unless i’m fantasizing about churning butter

I am watching the Blazers, but, listening to music.
There’s zero part of me that wants to listen to the play by play grovel over their darling Spurs.

Breezin' YouTube video by George Benson - Topic

It’s a George Benson Breezin’ day in the city.

Headphone escapes.
🎧🎶

who wants to come over and race down the stairs in our sleeping bags

At the punk show clapping politely and hoping no one spills my $10 beer

Wow is this really what we were trying to load all day? Couldn't wait to see this?

Fyre fest ass app

the bulbs inside of a Wendy's restaurant sign burned out, scorching the plastic cover, leaving Wendy's portrait scorched and looking demonically possessed

"Sir, this is a goth Wendy's..."

“i asked chatGPT”

well i asked my shoe

"Someone tried to strangle Sneako", "Clavicular just had a drug overdose", I refuse to believe that understanding any of these headlines is better for me than chain-smoking

Richard Jenkins and Mary Steenburgen from the film ‘Step Brothers’ saying “It’s the fucking Portland Trail Blazers”

Welp…
Temporary sighs of relief across Rip City tonight.
🌹

the blazers tonight

SMOKING A CELEBRATORY DOOBIE INSTEAD OF A SAD ONE TONIGHT FOLKS

so clavicular overdosed on sneako while streaming? do i have that right??

I’ve decided to become a concept

Sorry I woke you up because I was laughing at my own jokes too loudly.

deli&cia food place

I'm at the deli. I'm at the central intelligence agency. I'm at the combination deli & cental intelligence agency.

We are everywhere.
Lurking, seething.

Super glad there are spots in town playing the Blazer game. Fuck Amazon.

So, if you see me in the back of the bar, staring at a tv, drinking coffee and mumbling “Booker looks like an NPC from Fallout: New Vegas” to myself; no you didn’t. I’m not here to socialize.

Go Blazers.
🌹

normalize excusing yourself from various situations by saying “i hate this”

Why do they call it a "restroom" when it's where I practice karate

A black and white photo of signage on a storefront that reads “BARBER + DRUM SHOP”

“I need a trim, and a floor tom.“

📸: Milwaukie, Oregon

BLAZER THEME YouTube video by Portlandism

Bingo, bango, bongo…

Another step forward, Blazers fans.
Here’s a sound for you…
🌹

youtu.be/f4qHhluc7Wc?...

Blazers finish off Sacramento and finish the year 42-40. First season with a winning record in five years. They'll face the Suns in Phoenix on Tuesday in the 7-8 play-in game. If they win they play the Spurs in the first round.