goat : minding its own business some religious dude several thousand years ago : angry veiny headed seething wojak saying "YOU ARE THE VERY IMAGE OF SATAN HIMSELF" to a bleating goat standing and facing to the right of him saying "Bahhhhhhhh"

actually it's pronounced "hoajie"

str8 up kirkin' it

kirking off

*trying to make friends at an orgy*

so...you guys like sex?

literally kash patel if he was an emoji. no other description could possibly sum this up more accurately

nobody :
nobody at all :
kash patel :

broke : "constipated"
woke : poopsick

osama bėn shapiro

yeah yeah i know we can't send images on this app because they hate shy people and shoddy conversationalists i GUESS

watch this be the post that does it. that'd be cool. frankly i just want to share memes and funny pics with people & don't really know how 2 converse without them. sue me!

i think triangle-shaped phones are the future.

kiss my proverbial ass

what if you landed on a faraway planet & everything was exactly the same except people pooped in the sink & washed their hands in the toilet

white people say some shit like "oh, fiddlesticks" then they cum

what if the worlds we create in our dreams are real and that's why the universe keeps expanding every day 🤔

reading classical literature got me telling my bird shit like "i love thee, squawky"

"omg u guys look it's mouthman! he is a pillar of the breathmaxxing community!" this is how they sound to me

wtf is a "looksmaxxer" like they're just inventing reasons to be famous at this point

look at me guys i'm a blinkmaxxing eyecel!!!

we need a disney princess who has conquered most of present-day france

suntan lotion is just people butter

nobody :
nobody at all :
fish : glub

what's wrong babe you've hardly touched your divine wrath & retribution

polish cats be like "purrwa"

a crust of bread in hand is worth two in the bush

i came here to pilfer grain & chew bubblegum & i'm all out of bubblegum 😎

tony hawk's pro grain pilferer

bro if u pilfer my grain one more time i swear on all that's holy i will smite ur ass to last tuesday

making maps of the world must have been hard af before satellites

so, i never saw the movie gladiator until yesterday. this morning, squawky woke me up early. when i went out to the hallway to get her, from the window I could see 2 deer play-fighting at the park. cool, huh?

don't make me a mayonnaise sandwich and tell me it's grilled cheese!

that's a bunch of horse bologna. just straight up hullabaloo