Why does buying literally anything online these days feel like joining a cult. Trying to get a new mattress & they keep emailing me shit like "are you READY to join THOUSANDS more people like you who have chosen a life of better SLEEP?!" brother shut up I just want to make my purchase and move on 😭
Fourth paint run to B&Q now for the "who needs testers I'll just eyeball it" guy
No matter where you are in Tottenham Court Road underground station, you are always at least 10 minutes walk away from where you need to be
(very) early contender for tune of the year
youtu.be/XkvAX2AoaRc?...
Guy boarding the plane in front of me was having a meltdown about his oversized luggage. Shouting at staff, ramming his bag in the size checker, throwing his duty free purchases away, security called in to mediate. Dreadful for all involved, but fantastic for me. Like watching a tiktok in real life.
big year for big tunes 🤘
open.spotify.com/playlist/3gg...
Requiring a "witness" to sign a mortgage deed is so extra I swear. Im just some guy, dont worry about it. Its only me.
Answering "yes" to this question for some attention
Going for an MRI this morning and Ive had to take my earrings out. Everyone can tell im walking around without my usual earrings. Doctor i hope you know what you're doing because I have sacrificed so much to get here.
Brother im literally drinking coffee in tokyo right now 💪🤘
Just went to check in online for my long ass haul flight tomorrow and the only seats left were middle ones. This has to be some kind of mistake. I am too long to sit there. Someone will have to swap with me, a child on their first holiday perhaps.
So many of my friends in recovery, including me, have their clean birthdays in November or December. Way more so than in the summer. Winter really is the final straw to make a using addict's life feel totally unmanageable.
Couldnt sleep last night because my neighbours upstairs have foraged a treadmill from somewhere and had their two giant dogs using it all night. Move to east London they said. God bless them all the same though.
IT guy at work trying to fix my computer just asked me when the last time I rebooted was. Brother thats like asking me to tell you when I uttered my first words, took my first steps, heard birds singing for the first time. It is simply too long ago for me to remember.
Deleted tiktok a week ago so I could focus more. Still occasionally venture to YouTube shorts for a quick hit though. Some fantastically bad content over there. Its like an anti short form video advert. Whenever im on it, I crave books. I long for spreadsheets. Its the perfect deterrent.
In order to enjoy an episode of Grand Designs I need the house to be bold, beautiful and built with love. Failing that, i want it to completely ruin their fucking lives.
Just thought "I hope they go bankrupt" three minutes into an episode of Grand Designs. A new record for me.
Why do I, a member of the public who is not in the film industry and has no financial interest in it, have to constantly read about box office revenue and performance. Like who cares. Leave me out of this.
www.bbc.com/culture/arti...
Been trying out meditation for the first time this week and this shit literally makes me feel like im back on the benzos again. Absolutely elite freelapse experience, I should have tried this ages ago.
Finding the process of buying a flat, which takes months & the majority of which I have little input or visibility on, kind of at odds with the way I have navigated basically everything in my entire life until now. Seriously hope this solicitor I found on google after 5 minutes knows what hes doing.
Autumn is here guys
Get your coats on
One Battle After Another is elite. What an insane filmography. These are my favourite (haven't seen Inherent Vice).
Left my shoes in the office shower by mistake and some dude went in immediately after me so I can't retrieve them. And he has been in there for absolutely ages. Brother please hurry, im sitting at my desk in my socks & people are starting to come in. My professional stock is falling by the second.
Had an offer accepted on a flat and now theyre suddenly asking me to put them in touch with my "solicitor". My personal solicitor? What next, my personal physician? My publicist? My agent?! I don't know who any of these people are
Clips of people from Burning Man are all like "its a level 8 sandstorm outside, we are trapped in our shipping containers, the orgy tent has blown away, i havent been able to make contact with my family in 6 days, our supplies of food & water are critically low, we're having the time of our lives 🤘"
(At a gig and seeing everyone is broadly the same age as I am) "man, a lot of old people here tonight isnt there 🤔"
Love holding down the fast forward button on the 9 second tiktok video that im watching because its taking too long
Trying to buy a house for the first time at the moment and I am just familiarising myself with the concept of 'leaseholds'. Whats all that about then. You're telling me that after like 150 years, some mysterious land baron will literally own my house instead of me? Thats awful. Fuck that guy.
Just bought a pot of hummus from the supermarket. Plenty in there to last me through the week! Im so happy tescos decided to start selling these without lids. Those completely unnecessary things were always getting in the way.
