you’re insane i love you sfm

huge day for the spoken word to music community

Mayhem is going to be the Slam Poetry album of the year

idk my words but i do know my heart

you being a step mother makes so much sense to me and no i wont elaborate

what the hell, sure

rubber doesn’t feel like it should come from a tree…. someone’s lying to us

I truly believe that there are assistants behind the scenes of Traitors who explain the current situation to the housewives.

i hope the frogs are okay and heterosexual

whenever a drag queen meets a twink, a timer above their head appears that counts down til that twink asks that drag queen to put them in drag

well…

oomf invented the Bene Gesserit

btw

a day of endless charcuterie

i know you mean goose as bestie :(

i am blonde now btw (goose for comparison)

this is a sext btw

amy adam’s DESERVED an oscar (for The Muppets)

wait a second one of these things doesn’t make sense. (wahaj doesn’t eat zambreros)

but what will you scoop

the D in DSM is for DIVA 💜

there’s a guy in my office with a mug with photos of his kids on it and i want to steal and use it sooooo bad

everything is romantic

riley acting normal // the real riley

hosting pres as a queer person is SO stressful, some twink will come out of the bathroom saying “i knew you were a pantone shampoo girl” ???

a woman is using a tablet computer while holding a pen . ALT: a woman is using a tablet computer while holding a pen .

me bullying anyone who has a man in their spotify wrapped

if there’s one thing you need to know about me is I WILL comment on an instagram post even if i don’t really know the person

make vegan dick cheese next

“make sure you’re “holding space” to send me your roster availability this silly season!!”

just when “very demure” was finally dying out in millennials vernacular, “holding space” is here for them to quote for the next 6 months