For what is *technically* a children’s card game, yes

I meant to tell yall I am Taylor Swift. It’s been me the entire time

Why do you mfs walk around climbing gyms with no shirt, shoes, nor socks on. Where do you think you are? This place is filthy. Who do you think you are?

Lil dude from across the street, let me hold a dollar

I can barely tolerate sharing a table with three other commander players

You feel me

found pete hegseth's burner

If you post intoxicated then it never actually happened

Real shit! Let’s use our words while we still can!

Folks are too comfortable with never being uncomfortable. Speak your fucking mind, resolve a conflict!

Next time someone is passive-aggressive to me I’ma just start milly rocking

I bought an electric vehicle this week so I truly hope to never set foot in a gas station again

I love being home. Everything here is free and there is anime

The fact that nobody seriously believes there is an institution in this country that will check the president—that we’re all just sitting here hoping that he gets distracted and fails to follow through on his genocidal threats—is the most damning indictment of our political system I’ve seen yet.

Just picked up my emotional support crab-veggie omelette breakfast wrap

It is a pretty bad card but Mirrormind Crown would be hilarious in this

My type of Boros nonsense for sure

Bout to cause a scene in the family group chat by saying Jesus wouldn’t have wanted yall to send AI-generated Easter bunnies

How does the little one feel about bedtime

“…Schumer's Commander is Baral, Chief of Compliance, who may allow him to draw another counterspell when he plays the one in his hand-but until Schumer finally taps those two Islands, we cannot be sure.”

“‘ suppose, if he tried to cast a removal spell on my Commander, I might consider it," Schumer finally said. "But I can't say for certain. I'd have to think about it in the moment.”

ALT TEXT pic 2: “When asked about a theoretical
situation where he would actually cast his Counterspell, Schumer stared into the middle distance for several full
minutes, humming.”

“…"Unfortunately, in each of those cases, I did not have any open mana," said Schumer, laying his elbow on the table to cover up his two untapped Islands, which had been gathering dust.”

“We attempted to press Schumer about his inaction regarding his Counterspell, why he did not cast it in response to Trump's castings of Propaganda, Expropriate, Smothering Tithe, or even Demolish, targeting the White House…”

Can’t help but read these in Schumer’s voice and imagine him pushing up those glasses

hearing some chatter about collective bargaining agreements but the reality is more of you need to be in the gym collecting bar gains

Replying so I remember to buy a print and frame this weekend. Thanks!

That mf is hideous

Listening to the Frieren soundtrack on my way to work. Zen’d tf out right now.

“Rowling has made it abundantly clear that she thinks attacking transgender people via the legal system is a worthwhile cause and a good use of her vast personal fortune…there’s no way to watch this show without supporting Rowling’s bigotry and the structural violence she’s inflicting…”