Well this will surely end in tears and regrets…..

Most important reminder.

me: you boy what day is it today?

boy: nonces shout out of the window day.

me: oof you’ve absolutely done me there.

Top gifting

Sorry what?

This is a regular Christmas Eve activity isn’t it?!?

Annual morbidity in the 20th century, before and after vaccines:

Measles:
Before: 530,000, After: 47

Mumps:
Before: 160,000, After: 429

Rubella:
Before: 50,000, After: 3

Diphtheria:
Before: 20,000, After: 2

Smallpox:
Before: 30,000, After: 0

Polio:
Before: 16,000, After: 0

Just had the traditional festive Chinese carb loading.

Yes 💯

That is literally the only reason I am here.

Managed to limp through the last strength session. Hot on the heels of conditioning on Friday and Sunday. Broken.

I’m sure a Sherry with my shot of night nurse will be fine.

Chas and Dave really dividing my timeline tonight bizarrely.

Does anyone know if there's a Gavin & Stacey special on this Christmas?

Interviewer: Can you explain this gap in your resume?
Me: I moved one bullet point in MS Word.

I don't know who needs to hear this, but you don't need to justify your reading preferences and choices to anyone. Audiobooks count as reading. Also, you don't have to finish books you don't enjoy. Don't read to impress, read for yourself. Life's too short, love yourself, ok?

Signed, a librarian.

my love language is avoidance

5 reasons why The Shining is a Christmas movie

1. Snow
2. Red rum
3. Hyperactive kids
4. Big snuggly jumpers
5. Huge family row ending with someone putting an axe through the door.

There is nothing better than being up early before it’s light, sitting in a warm kitchen, drinking tea and making up stories. Thanks to @panmacmillan.bsky.social and the lovely readers who make this possible.

Offt very damp cobbler walk today

The tragedy is that Gregg Wallace will be at home brooding because "I'm just mucking about. I don't mean nothing by it. Everyone knows that. People have got so sensitive". When women have been squirming and flinching around him his entire adult life.

Did…did a minotaur write this

Going back to bed.

Lost a tree to Bert but it’s taken down the phone lines and now we have no wifi. No wifi = no TV and potential working from the office. Urgh.

Offt delicate this morning. I remember now why I rarely do this anymore

Imagine going out on a successful date… they take you home… the next thing you know you’re in danger of being Spread Eagled on Dead Nan’s face.

What are you saying to get yourself out of there?

That’ll explain why it’s still under my pillow.

Spent the morning in a briefing session from the Met Office about storm Bert and am deeply regretting the night out tonight and Idles gig tomorrow. Sweaty punk when you’re all wet 😫

Yes I know them, we went to Twitter together.