Mets legendary closer Austin Warren

Matt Damon playing a 14th century French knight that looks like a third baseman for the Phillies. Mullet. Beard. Smells like horse shit, pine tar, and cigarette smoke.

Matt Damon while playing Odysseus who also looks like a third baseman for the Phillies. Long, skinny beard. Smells like horseshit, pine tar, and perhaps Mediterranean herbs.

Matt Damon playing a 19th century cowboy that looks like a third baseman for the Phillies. Mustache. Shaggy hair. Smells like horse shit, pine tar, and definitely chewing tobacco.

Every time Matt Damon takes on a period role he ends up looking like a third baseman for the Phillies.

Mets fans 🤝 White Sox fans
Sarcastic cheers

And that was the end of the offense.

It’s almost like having the guy who blew a save on Sunday shouldn’t be brought in to a high pressure situation on Tuesday.

But what do I know

a man in a black hoodie is standing with his arms crossed in front of a picture . ALT: a man in a black hoodie is standing with his arms crossed in front of a picture .

Things Mets probably should have covered off on during the off-season:

- First baseman
-Closer
-Batters

Definitely. It’s almost like not having a first baseman going into the season wasn’t the best idea.

Can’t even get an out on the bitchiest play in baseball.

Vientos has no business playing first if he isn’t going to exercise a crumb of awareness.

Mendoza couldn’t manage his way out of a box.

What a great idea to put in Tyrone Taylor. Bravo!

I swear SNY just said there’s a tulpa in the bullpen and honestly, anything the Mets need at this point

FranklinBenedict • 17h * New York Mets I just want to say that the New York Mets are now 47-70 since playing "Kokomo" on the day Brian Wilson died last June. The curse no one is talking about. 4 Reply 3 3,172少 yumyumapollo • 17h Ro Tampa Bay Rays ® Top 1% Commenter Met Sounds 5 个18941

Alright let’s see if the Mets remember how to play baseball this week.

I don’t think it’s *that* hard to lose 11 in a row. The White Sox keep doing it too.

32% of you need to go back to high school economics

I hate it here.

I’m so tired.

The White Sox owe their fans a full explanation as to why they signed such a POS who had significant accusations levied against them.

I remember the rumors long before he signed with them. There’s no way they didn’t know.

Since 2015, Mike Clevinger is one of two players MLB probed under its domestic violence policy but didn't suspend. His ex-fiancée says MLB enabled the former star to keep harassing her, including this call where she says he threatened her.

issa new [eyeblack]
www.readeyeblack.com/p/your-life-...

Highly recommend reading this.

MLB gives lip service to fans around domestic violence and it’s clear from this that popularity and profit trump the safety of partners and children.

TW: abuse

Your reminder that PCA looks like a Dune character.

Pete Crow-Harkonnen

I’d say it’s early but hot damn does everyone suck.

So many subtweeted in such little time.

*Kim Kardashian voice*

It seems like nobody wants to win these days.

Child: I know your name. Mamdani.

Obama: What’s his first name?

Child: Mayor.

The fact that Jimmy Savile looks like Rick Flair’s British cousin should have been everyone’s first clue.

a man wearing glasses and a blue vest is making a funny face and says aye dios . ALT: a man wearing glasses and a blue vest is making a funny face and says aye dios .

“Craig Kimbrel has come into the game.”

Gary referring to him as a future Hall of Famer was VERY funny.

Having to watch MLB.TV on the ESPN app has gotten very old very fast 😐