Oh here, let me help you Overcompensate with headlines and flash photography

New post! open.substack.com/pub/xapismar...

Someone asked me if I’m married today and like… how do I say “yes and I’m available”???

It’s my and Maxwellington’s birthday today. Please act accordingly.

Columbus Elizabeth Ohio, I cannot keep swapping between AC and Heat!

I think I just discovered why I like sporting events - the community aspect is a given but like… it’s a themed event. With costumes and rituals and a set end time. Omg I am wildly on brand.

“Well the UK has tatziki which is kinda like ranch.” “…if ranch was gogurt.” - @bajashouta.bsky.social

Boy did we have fun storming the castle

Having more boys in your life just means more men to be annoyed at for no reason (I’m on my period)

It was a very sudden and stunning realization for me of why kitchen table poly exists/is desirable

Why do boys make such serious faces when they take nudes..?

My spouse and my boyfriend played video games together tonight while I went out with a friend. I cannot explain to you what it’s like to walk in to your house and see your whole heart just sitting exposed in your living room. I could’ve died right there.

Boyf said this photo perfectly describes about 89% of who I am… and I think I agree.

Sitting in a dive bar last night, I’m scrolling his phone picking songs for our touch tunes take over and I hear him say under his breath “you’re just so perfect.” What am I doing?!!

a woman is standing in front of an american flag with her arms outstretched and making a funny face . ALT: a woman is standing in front of an american flag with her arms outstretched and making a funny face .

I’m not even slightly ashamed

Wait omg the first one was me!!!

Senator Meow's 2025 Christmas Challenge Unwrapped

Alright, at long last, here's the 2025 Christmas Challenge Unwrapped. Let's start with a hearty congrats to all our champions: @atremblingsky.bsky.social, @benpoop.bsky.social, @cleverleftist.bsky.social, @dariaphoebe.com, @edrevelator34.bsky.social, @makingarecord.com, @marie.tech

Play it like the whole world is watching.

Wishing our 61 players luck as they head to Italy to compete in the Ultimate Away Game! Keep up with them on our PWHL Italy 2026 Hub ➡️ thepwhl.com/en/olympics

My closest friends are all generally happily coupled and not really in feral eras atm so who do I text about getting my guts rearranged last night???

What do you call a boyfriend on the side who is less than 6ft?:

poly pocket

Add me to your smart home app so I know it’s real

You know, of all the people I’ve slept with over my life, it’s comforting to know only one of them turned out to be a fascist. I mean, one of them is also an actual sociopathic narcissist but he’s not a bootlicker so… 🤷🏼‍♀️

“It was always meant to be you” omfg I am a fucking PUDDLE

Desperately want to just start saying “I have two boys inside of me” instead of “two wolves” but like… it’s much too far.

Accidentally discovered that in the past 6 months I’ve lost 15 lbs. I don’t like knowing my weight and given that this is not an intentional loss, I’m sort of worried about how my mental health is going to be affected by this knowledge.

Not today but I have been there

All three of the boys I text regularly (spouse included) have their read receipts on and don’t weaponize it. I’m obsessed with them.

I’m dating a man who has a tv in every room of his house. It is my absolute dream.

Texted a couple of my friends that I loved them and every single one was like “how did you know I needed that right now?” TELL YOUR FUCKING FRIENDS YOU LOVE THEM LIKE YOU’RE IN AN 1800S ROMANCE NOVEL!

Cervical orgasms are why girls tell boys they love them.

Yes please let’s!! The shorts programs are a must as well!