i love eating lunch eating lunch eating lunch eating lunch eating lunch eating lunch eating lunch eating lunch eating lunch

eating lunch eating lunch eating lunch eating lunch eating lunch

the most beautiful woman in the world gave birth to a demon 3 feet high and made of purest cheddar

Peeing and moaning in the bath

i love eating expired spices off the kitchen windowsill

A strange man stepped out of thin air and into my house and he was carrying an eyelash

im going to be the first guy in history to complete 1 sentence

i hate a when someone has a bad day
fucking loser

im fucking an oldhead jackass

I'm an old guy and here's why..

I want my face blown off

My balls are filled with animal excrement.

i wonder if they'll ever make a bionic man

The Best and the brightest are often lost to the sea

I'm the only man on earth who hates onions

i would never hurt a fly or make a baby on purpose

A man with an apple and a dream

My balls are hurting from not being used as much as they once did

im at the bar whacking off loudly to the noises in the room

I don't believe in the devil being tall or beautiful. Believe in Satan being as short and ugly as possum.

i'm doing my part , my tweets are well-liked

The CIA made the Flintstones.

I don't like when I go to a psychiatrist and they tell me i need to take a large, heavy dose of heroin

I love getting sucked off

The Cauldron of Unforgettable Hot Dogs

im so tired of the "here's what it smells like outside" type weather reports

I hate politics. All politics, no matter what side of the tracks they're on, is futile. Politics is never about winning. It's always about losing

it's been a wild weekend ive become more impotent

you ever just.. just... just... just brush your teeth really gently and then.. no.. sorry

just ate some of the most nourishing food of all time. im already fucking glowing

they are abducting me at gunpoint