topped this weekend. what have i become?

an okay-ish monday

christmas

should be a day of rest, but i got some hella cleaning to do today

oldest selfie on your phone

2010 babies

not sure what i was going for here

tuesday 🤷‍♂️

VEIN

clean as a whistle

introducing TASTE THE HEAT, NOT THE MEAT. a KING OF THE HILL podcast for those who think propane is a personally trait.

🗣️ hosted by yours truly and @shirtlessjay.com

listen/watch at:

🌎 tastetheheat.show
📼 youtube.com/@tastetheheatshow

or your favorite podcast aggregators

I was never there. I don’t even listen to podcasts. But if my voice does appear in this episode, it was sampled illegally by the government using AI and deep state technology.

2legit2quit

i had to take a piss in front of this

Superman and I both like breakfast for dinner. Only difference is he flies. I fuck, cry, and fry bacon all before midnight.

when you have a friend named brett and brent and you can’t remember which is which am i right?

st augustine: there’s something deeply wrong with me because I got turned on by the castillo de san marcos. that cannon wasn’t the only thing getting loaded.

*thing

america isn’t the only worth celebrating today

road trips are just snacks, silence, and staring out the window like you’re in a music video about loss

andy warhol saw a soup can and said “yes, this is culture now,” and he was right because i too have built an identity on things that make no sense

i used to dream of love and poetry. now i dream of a world where i’m cc’d on nothing

late start for a beach day

pre work blues

zooms in… not a fan of macadamias, but i’d push them around to get the cashews

plz’d 2 b here

pre-shower thrills

🎈

duh go for it

post-night shift endeavors