Watching that damn gambling groundhog down 5-1 makes you feel a slump real real bad

This Is Just to Say

I have been booing
the bums
who were in
the dugout

and who
you were probably
rooting
for reasons

Forgive me
they were atrocious
so bad
and so cold

Combo of roped stanchions and oversight and likely cameras, but all of these might be easily overwhelmed with coordinated action.

This has “20 games out on Fan Appreciation Day” on a cold late September night vibes and yet we are two solid months away from the solstice.

Only a Luddite-style smashing of the self-serve Ghost Energy Drink kiosks at CBP will appease Base Ba’al and her BABIP demons.

It’s a best of three, right?

Did I mention it is also *expensive*?

HBD Trevor! I bought you a highly dysfunctional major league baseball team, hope you like it!

You can’t just decide to be a Sixers fan. Becoming one is more of a ::pinky to lips, arched eyebrow:: process

He’s stunk up the joint tn

Turning on my A/C on tax day in Pennsylvania 10 years later during an undeclared war with Iran is merely a coincidental metaphor, sir.

For those who don’t recall 1989, there’s a solid reason why.

Phillies hat on Broad Street as traffic zooms past

Traffic can’t even hit a hat in Philadelphia smh

Phillies goin’ full hobo suit Fridee

Call the Dawg!

This Is Just to Say

I have been booing
the bums
who were in
the dugout

and who
you were probably
rooting
for reasons

Forgive me
they were atrocious
so bad
and so cold

Putting the lose in Luzardo

You come for the politics here, but you stay for the baseball talk.

We have the angriest version of Abe Simpson as President

Phillies “Take the Rest of the Game Off”ense

The “h” in “treat” is silent

I'm obligated to link to my Here Comes the Pizza birthday post on Here Comes the Pizza's birthday

www.sbnation.com/mlb/2017/4/1...

The team will wear matching hobo suits.

“Got a tree with dead branches? Aaron Nola here to remind you to call my good friends at Asplundh as the crew chief reviews whether or not this is a home run.”

Ask for a patient advocate.

A wounded lame duck and Vance of all people with the deciding vote. My God, sir.

What if they predictably decide to own a gun

Time to switch it up, sir.

The who now?

On the bright side: thanks to the Constitution, you never had to!