hey if you're feeling mentally all over the place it's nice to read a book

I wrote a radio script last year that had the word “dumbass“ in it, and was told it wouldn’t play on the “family friendly“ station, so we did a version using “asinine“ instead, which was a win-win since, you know, it still had ass.

I served with JK Simmons. I knew JK Simmons. JK Simmons was a friend of mine. Diplo, you're no JK Simmons.

Camp Cucamonga advertisement with a cast list that somehow includes G Gordon Liddy

I just wasn’t prepared for that last name.

We like to think we’re a generation of Duckies, forgetting that most of us are Jake Ryan’s meathead friend who thought Sam was the R word.

I don’t own any of their studio albums, but I picked up their live double-CD ‘Rome’ at a record store whenever it came out and really dig it.

It’s like the old saying goes, “There’s a Zucker berg every minute.”

Iran, I was not familiar with your game.

Truly Peak Slop™

Cybertruck in Richmond VA with a vinyl wrap advertising a used car dealership with some stereotypical car-dealer guy face on it

Cybertruck in Richmond VA with a vinyl wrap advertising a used car dealership with some stereotypical car-dealer guy face on it

cybertruck owners are achieving levels of unfuckability scientists previously believed impossible

We elected a government of game show hosts, podcasters, and grifters who have just broken the global economy to generate social media content, all because we were mad that our roofers spoke Spanish.

This is, hands down, the dumbest imperial collapse ever.

AOL headline: 'The Thing' ranked top horror John Carpenter's 1982 film The Thing was named the scariest movie of the '80s by Ranker, despite initial mixed reviews. Poltergeist took second place on the list. Photo is of Jeff Bridges in the Big Lebowski

Highlighting section: Generated with AI, which can make mistakes

Can it now?

Wishing a happy Brian’s Hat Day to all who celebrate.

If you find a way, please tell me.

We need to recognize that the people we describe as "faith-based" are actually nihilists. If your only belief is that your fate is determined by a vengeful egomaniacal god who punishes its creation seemingly randomly for an end goal only it can understand, you don't actually believe in anything.

I thought I was mapping to BEER City! Stupid fucking Siri.

LinkedIn notification: “Comment removed for harassment.” Comment is emojis of a fist, eggplant, and water.

Some of my finest work.

Sorry I'm late. There was an online form and I had to scroll to my birth year.

This song always gives me a quick hit of nostalgic optimism of being 22 during Clinton‘s first year in office thinking real change was finally possible.

alright christian god i know we’ve had our quarrels but i am prepared to ‘go catholic’ if you make it happen for comedy effect today specifically. i won’t half ass it like i do with judaism either. i’ll wear the thing on my head and eat the crackers and shit

Excellent timing because never has the world been more on the side of robots or cops

Today I learned I can read German

Hooded sweatshirt with the phrase PERHAPS TODAY printed on its back.

Kinda wanna buy this hoodie from the local Christian coffeeshop to spread a message they surely did not intend for it.

black background with white text: "Support these data centers: Schools, Libraries, Bookstores"

Sure! "Cyclists have a right to the road, too, you noisy, polluting, inconsiderate maniacs! I hope gas goes up to eight bucks a gallon!"

$8 a gallon for gas???

That's right

I made this a year ago and it is still true 💖✨ and yes I know that VW was made for the n*zis back in the day.

#falloutboy #digitalcollage #digitalcollageart #2000saesthetics #2000snostalgia

Facebook ad for comedian Zane Lamprey with an AI slop background of a whole bunch of white people in their late 20s laughing uproariously at him while holding glasses of red wine.

So funny, not a single human laughed.

I’m very glad I realized early on if I worked really hard I’d still only be a mediocre illustrator, so I got a graphic design degree, worked in advertising, became a copywriter, and now I occasionally write comics with artists so much stronger than I could ever be.

The last time I watched it, I realized Ted Knight is absolutely its secret weapon.

Chess King mall storefront

Lobbying for an exception