villain: hah! ironic that the one who shot you is your English professor!

me: *bleeding out* actually it's... it's coincidental

villain: *a single tear drops down his cheek* ... you passed

what's your favorite video game music? mine's "single note sustained on a euphonium in a room with slight reverb"

Felt cute, might give away a white Cherry MX 3.0 keyboard while building a PC

twitch.tv/its_radsy

GONNA DRINK MALORT AT 1PM EDT FOR THE FIRST TIME ON MY SUBATHON, 14 hours remain! Come say hi!!!!

twitch.tv/its_radsy

Left my fiancé at the altar. The relationship is over, but the human sacrifice went perfectly

kinda cool how all the rich are turning against each other. maybe we don't have to eat the rich. maybe they'll eat themselves

🚨 WHITE HOUSE: MODS? MODS???

i should call her

only now realizing it's called "duck duck goose" because geese are aggressive

"student driver" sticker but fully licensed to drive, just also in law school

joke’s on you, IRS, every day is taxing

tech bro is short for technically broken

I use the internet to hint at my rich inner world

Me when I post and delete every five seconds

getting gang banged by philosophers is called getting a trolley run on you

[teaching my boyfriend cards]

ME: the blue ones represent logic, the yellow are morality & order, the green use instinct & interdependence, and the red value chaos & impulse

HIM: *frantically flipping through UNO instruction booklet*

come together
right now
over me

-a gangbang probably

deleting all of my dating apps because I want to meet someone the old-fashioned way (at the police station after being taken in because i called the police when someone tried to break into my house when I was going to see if my little brother was ditching school)

really caught my eye how your dating profile said you like “good beer.” it’s cool how you think the stuff you like is good. not a lot of people are that brave

can't tell if I’m manic or have suddenly become able to survive without food and sleep

thank you mommy puppy

aight ok I enrolled in a voice acting class thing

everyone say "good luck rads hope you make your parents proud"

this is a joke about a typo but I’m too nervous to wait until you realize there's a typo because my reply seems out of pocket

fucking finally time

THERAPIST: listen, I really need you to relax

ME: *banging fists on table* BUT HOW CAN IT BE “BIRTHDAY CAKE” FLAVOR IF A BIRTHDAY CAKE CAN BE ANY FLAVOR

John, please don't punch me

FWIW thank you for any and all birthday wishes going forward
( ˘ ³˘)♥

I am flattered but I promise this is me in all my glory

Thank you so much!! 🥰

Thank you!