Hello from Denver, Colorado!

Fuck THAT. I registered as unaffiliated just so I could get both D and R primaries. If someone particularly dangerous or repulsive was running on the Republican ticket, I’d vote in the Republican primary and vote against that person.

On one hand, sick catch, no harm no foul. On the other, if I was that baby’s mom, I’d be apoplectic.

SUPER COOL!! We don’t have those little guys in Colorado.

Hell yeah! 🚫🦠

a woman wearing sunglasses and a fur coat is standing in front of a building . Alt: a woman wearing sunglasses and a fur coat is stomping her feet and whining

On one hand, we do. On the other…

I washed my crocs in the dishwasher until my husband went apoplectic. It was convenient while it lasted.

Fuck yeah, that’s hella words

Smart man! Your wife can’t have sex with you if she’s fucking exhausted. Sadly, my ex-husband never learned this lesson, and pestered me for sex anyway.

That’s kinda why I write.

I like this guy.

I am not normally one to wish bad things on people. But if he twisted his ankle on a hike and a wolf found him easy prey, I wouldn’t complain.

If I saw you on the street today, I’d do a double take and then compliment you!

I hope she listens to Bravado. Goosebumps every time!

Your wife is a MACHINE! (Probably a hard drive of some sort)

I did that to my 8-year-old when he got braces. Cue the indignant shouts of “My mouth is full of fuck and I am pissed off at it!!”

BEEP BEEP MOTHERFUCKER

Fuck yeah, thanks, Choctaw Nation!

Me: MY 80s. You don’t GET to have them. You wouldn’t understand.

A small black cat at the top of the stairs, in front of a wooden door with a window showing that it is dark outside.

(Spoiler: this pic was taken after the misadventure; everything is okay)

Just lost *this* bastard cat in *that* darkness outside. He was straight up invisible. I saw him on the patio, and then nothing. I only found him when he decided to be found (he got scared lol).

Sewing machine shopping for my son. I need something strong enough to sew through denim and canvas…and to survive the man himself, who is unintentionally destructive.

[eats phone]

I once dozed off in a traffic jam because I was near a big rig. I’ve worked as an EMT on an ambulance on the night shift, idling diesel puts me right to sleep. (I got off at the next exit for an energy drink.)

You’re a good parent.

Of COURSE. 🔥

I hope you get back from hell soon, more for your own good than for the prompts. They’re cool, but you’re more important.

I wrote a novel using my damn self because I think committing word crimes is fun. I do this for the love of the game.

Nyan Cat is 15 years old today. I remember when my son was four years old, we made a felt pop tart and rainbow for our fat white cat Nushi 🌈. I don’t miss those days often, but I miss *that* day. 💕

Coffee with a splash of cream 💕

Thank you! 🏳️‍⚧️