How do you like school, Billy? Closed

A top ten joke of all time.

The baby calls snap peas “snack peas” and I think she might have a future in advertising

There’s a billboard near my house for a Jay & Silent Bob themed weed delivery service. Like a licensed one. The world takes a strange arc.

deli&cia food place

I'm at the deli. I'm at the central intelligence agency. I'm at the combination deli & cental intelligence agency.

My kid dunked one of her overnight stuffed animals in the dog’s water ten minutes before bed. We have a similar one as a substitute but there’s a chance this is going to be a full disaster.

This antipope is the antidote to crime!

Maybe he’s an antipope. I’m still hammering out the details

I wonder if I delete all my social media if I can get someone at Paramount to greenlight my Pope who is tough on crime pilot.

You’re being so mean to my personal friend four-armed Statue of Liberty come to life.

How soon until the internet is so broken that it becomes worth it to own a set of encyclopedias?

Oh that’s nice

My "denial of ties to Jeffrey Epstein and knowledge of his crimes" press conference has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my press conference.

God, I was just thinking about how they better be using American-made steel to build the illegal ballroom that sucks

Look the Rangers are the most repulsive franchise in the sport and even I’m not sure they deserve this.

Biggest downgrade by far

I like that it’s different and I also like that the bird is new and somewhat more bird like. Biblically accurate oriole.

It does seem like there’s been a directive to stick closer to existing team colors and so I think they’ve kind of ruined this whole program. The Royals and the Orioles are sort of fine I guess. The Pirates I’m not sure I would have identified as not an existing uniform.

Finally I can stop letting my baby shit on all these expensive sweaters.

Forbidden moon just dropped

RIP physics. you had a good run.

this has to be the greatest single-game defensive performance in baseball history. especially considering they won 1-0

Bizarro Super-kids talking about how they do Easter in reverse on Bizarro World

another world is possible

Honestly I’m not sure baseball players are paid enough for putting up with stuff like this.

Baseball was more fun when pitchers had to hit and anyone who says otherwise is a LinkedIn poster

Look at this fucking pitch!

Can a horse guess what number I’m thinking of?

I have a child who eats 6-8 pints of farmers market berries every week I’m not sure I can afford principles anymore.

Is anyone saying that the reason we’re finally returning to the moon is because genAI images are advanced enough that we can fake a whole new moon landing? Is this a grift I can get in on the ground floor of?

anyway: your regular reminder that computers, data centers, and things of that nature, much like statuary and altars, can be smashed with hammers