“Friends” mf I’m your husband

Guess what her answer was

This is crazy

Getting paid biweekly really makes you miss being paid heteroweekly

Why do you hate me

Need my wife to wake up and take my phone cuz I wanna start posting radical political posts and she helps keep me grounded

You tell my husband to get in there and be christmassy with you or me and him will have a stern talk

“If God wanted beans to be in tacos he would’ve put them in there himself”

Me, 2025

I’m taking away your phone for a week

My bad I’ll remember that for my next wedding

Or the files are so bad that the government and the country collapse just out of sheer shock

I mean I guess bro

I did

No one hates republicans like I do and that’s a fact

You’re not a bear

They would like my vibes

Yes they are

If I had 100 lives I would spend 98 of them on head on collisions with people who leave their brights on.

The 99th would probably be me trying to make friends with a grizzly cuz bears are cool

I’m excited for winter and I don’t care who knows it

35MPH is the stupidest speed for a road. I hate it. Fuck you

#bb27

Hate Vince completely but I would rock the hell out of that fleece he has on #bb27

Supportive queen

Reposting this also trump is starting martial law in DC and if he thinks it works well he’s gonna try it in other large, blue cities across the country, I’m calling it now

Call me George Washington Carver the way I be playin with my nuts

She didn’t even shed a single tear for Boromir

You posted that pretty much the exact moment Boromir spoke the line

SHES SOFT LAUNCHING FALLING ASLEEP EARLY

WE HAVE

Locust is a state of mind 🧐👈

Look it up, pussy