I'm in the toilet

sorry for forgetting bluesky exists it will happen again

i have 2 phones on me right now
1 phone is in my pocket
0 phones in my pocket

just found out about covid

<sexual steve1989 hearing their partner shudder> nice hiss

Bro didn’t you know that not being a liberal means you’re automatically a republican it’s almost like you didn’t pay attention in government class in 8th grade

Literally me

Me but I just keep kicking u over and over

waiter! waiter! more twinks please!

Yeah

Quipu like and share if you agree

I am the ultimate guy. my only goal... is to make money and impress women

blurry photo of a cookie attached with screws to a wooden table

screwed a cookie to the tabel

I just took a big big shit

Fuck you I want to eat gruel instead

The Great Wall of Japan

dont have a big penis but what ever lol

I've been called a stupid little worm, even though i've won multiple IQ points in my time at the zoo. And yet people still call me stupid all the time.

Do any of my mutuals want to hang out and play in my backyard. I have a trampoline and a sandbox.

cozy lake vacation 🌲🏠

I just got an offer to be a dad. I declined

I would clock u immediately yeah

Cousin got a new plasma plasma plasma plasma tv that they are really proud of

i love the movie "good movie" where you keep watching the bad movie and then every five minutes you yell good movie good movie good

The M from MTV is Milk

Have you heard of this thing called a “chastity cage”