I don't understand still wanting to call and speak to someone instead of just ordering through an app. the less human interaction the better imo

if you have a little craving for something you should be allowed to go the grocery store and take a little nibble for free. it doesn’t make sense that you’d have to buy a whole thing

my boss: I think you know what this meeting is about.

me (wearing a breezy caftan, holding a martini glass filled with only olives in one hand, and in the other is a joint in a cigarette holder attached to a second cigarette holder so it is like 13” from my face): is it about me getting a raise?

🔮 trans women get Samus blaster arm and trans men get Mega Man blaster arm

Got cryptkeeper dysphoria, born a boy but I transitioned to a ghoul yeeheeeheeheeheee

"i gotta keep the rabbits out of my garden" you don't, actually. you planted a perfect and beautiful little rabbit buffet, and you're mad at the rabbits for dining there? at the rabbit buffet? full of rabbit food that little rabbits love? you're a fool.

can they just like not for a day

nah thats the most reasonable take I've seen on this site in a while

This is the best thing I’ve seen today and I need a source. Bluesky, please help. Credit to whoever this rad group is.

I think people also under estimate how feeling like you can’t change what you do without threat of homelessness or poverty actually takes the passion out of what you’re currently doing for work. Because it feels like you’re trapped in some way. It feels anxiety provoking

Unmelted cheese melt

Repulsive Philly cheesesteak that looks like insoles

Weird deflated hot dog

Cheesy chips that are just.... Fries with loose slices of cheese on top

This account just posts food at British football stadiums and it's the most upsetting shit I've ever seen

I LOVE ALL MY FANS BUT GOTTA GET THESE NUMBERS UP

i actually miss this

if it's a horror movie it's gotta have a scary guy in it

"oh, the source of the horror is actually an idea"

hey buddy

here's an idea:

put a scary guy in your movie

having a great day!

every girl is bi. you just have to figure out whether it's sexual, polar, pedal, modal, national, axial, annual, carbonate, metallic, or bimbap

So 198 days until Halloween, If anyone cares. (Me)

Listen,I get it,I was an HP kid too. That shit was my first hyperfixation,it took over my whole life.But you know what I did when I found out the creator was a TERFy pos?I stopped supporting it! It’s that easy, trust me. The books really aren’t even that good. I promise you’ll find something better.

it doesn’t matter how hard you are, when your girlfriend is making her stuffed beluga whale named eduardo make airplane noises and hands it to you, you say « hi eduardo »

please don't talk to me until I've had my coffee I say after taking Wellbutrin, Adderall, and chugging a red bull

i highly suspect over 50% of the transfem population owns a set of faux animal ears

there's NO excuse to still be driving a tesla. NONE

"but I'm underwater and owe more than it's worth!!"

don't care. grow up and commit insurance fraud

theyre definitely the window ads from a Popeyes, they probably work there

i am socially transitioning into a cunt