Gotta get me some Vegan Herbivoreos

Oh no! Toilet!

(Feeding a slice of bread into the toaster) Eat up little one (Grabbing the bread after it pops back up) Ungrateful beast, no dessert for you

My wife asked what I was giggling at, and I told her this one, and she smiled broadly and said "very droll". You have undeniably commited an act of humourism, I'm afraid.

Add a food to a movie title

Casino Eggs Royale

Gaming Lover Dad Shirt for Him, Gamefather Daddy Men's T-shirt, Video Gamer T-shirt for Men, Father's Day Video Games Tee from Wife

Sure hope a certain fast talking, high pitched, Pepsi adjacent character makes an appearance!

Whirling widdershins wholeheartedly

SF STORY PREMISE:

SETI decodes an alien signal targeting us.

Hi! We see you're still facing the Great Filter! We want to help! Based on your anatomy in broadcasts we decoded, here is a blueprint for a device that will solve your problem!

Humans: decode blueprint.

It's for an improved guillotine.

"100% of Foo Fighters fans *claim to* enjoy their music."

All t-shirts are reversible if you don't mind looking like a tit.

Why not just pour the oil in the sea then suck it out again once the tide carries it past the danger zone? I work in tech, so I am very smart by the way.

Yes FitBit, I definitely just hit 10,000 steps there. Very much a celebratory milestone there, I certainly wasn't merely shaking some more salted peanuts out of the bag to accompany the latter half of my beer.

Ah but it's not about the *quantity* of radical music you can purchase. Fortunately it's also not about the *quality* of the music.

That looks so utterly foul.

<sounds of lo-fi testicle licking emanating from somewhere nearby>

Ah, you ordered "Parsing HTML with Regex" too, huh?

Over-wintering in my Goon Dacha

You can actually french kiss butthole to butthole but it is quite a strenuous effort

The Devil Wears Jorts

A poorly illustrated ms paint portrait depicting Richard d james

richrud d jomes

An incredibly lifelike illustration of Paddington Bear, official psychopomp to the British royal family, gently escorting a man in top hat and tails (carrying a Puzza Express takeout) to Belmarsh

Ok I have far too much to do today to spend more than 2 minutes on this but here’s my political cartoon of the day, please enjoy

"Is Merzbow haram" could possibly be the most Birmingham question ever asked

Cultivate a compassionate, coherent, evidence-based intellectual framework or live entirely at the mercy of malicious bullshit, those are really the two options.

Every time I'm in a restaurant I remember Kevin McAleer's reply to a waiter who told him the Soup Of The Day.

"Where there any other contenders?"
"Um, no?"
"A hollow victory, then".

Gonna make sure my son doesn’t know what a Mr. Beast is until he’s old enough to hunt him for sport

Ed Gamble is in every episode.

Honey Dunked Lithops are bad for us now? What a world.

Thumbnail of a news article, headline begins '"I had the door slammed in my twice"...'

Oof, ouch, my twice.