Me tonight at this restaurant, asking them for their playlist because Shazam wasn’t working.

Gah lee

A photo of a naked man sitting in a chair

Thick #thighs save lives but ruin most of my shorts.

#thighsday

I say this all the time.

In this environment, supporting terrible people because you find them attractive is top-tier bird brain behavior.

Did he post this? 😜

Add laughing and whimsy.

No clue what this means but it sounds fun.

I wish my hole was visible when I bend over.

It’s too thick. What a problem to have, right?

#humpday #ass #manbutt

I got it in three but no clue that was a word

Picture of a naked man’s lower half.

You know, I’d love spring if the bugs and pollen weren’t a thing.

Nevertheless, I’ll take the outdoor naked time.

#saturdaysoftie

The way your jock matches the ad on tv.

😘😘

When are you taking me?

A black and white photo of a man naked

Black and white images make even a simple nude look like it belongs in an art gallery, or at least a semi-sophisticated skeet!

#MonochromeMonday #mcm

Boldly horny. We’ve all been there, hoping they have the notifications turned off. 🤣☺️

Bottle it up and send me a sample.

He shaved his bush and now I’m not interested.

Me to myself: “seek help.”

Babe… Just because someone snapped a picture of you doesn’t mean you’ve suddenly been crowned a model.

Calm down lol

Instagram’s “Suggested for You” are men I’ve slept with who either were so terrible in bed they don’t warrant reminding or had insufferable personalities.

My lil face sunscreen (4oz) bout $50. How much this? 🫠

Please.

And then I want a little nap afterwards.

You do. It’s a good movie.

Yep. It’s such a lazy argument. Incompatibility aside, he needs to do the inner work on finding a suitable partner.

There’s this one man always ranting about other people’s open relationships and how the non-monogamy sect is ruining his dating prospects.

What other people do has no impact on no one wanting to date someone so insufferable.

Very dick forward. Love it.

I like to sniff butts. That’s it. That’s the post.

When I tell men I like it so hairy I could floss with it, this is what I mean.

I saw a man with a BBL tonight, surely people don’t think these are attractive.

I felt so bilingual reading this.