America has given The Clangers a 15 point plan

Fun day where I've tried a joke about Operation Epic Fury in 3 different group chats each tailored to that chat specifically. Really good writing exercise in realising you have some friends you can make laugh easier

Think this should be a straight red tbh

Charli XCX vs Taylor Swift

Very happy for all the white girls in clapham today x

I'm back.

Next Friday I am @pleasance.co.uk London for my football comedy show UNITED!

Get tickets and come along

www.pleasance.co.uk/event/ted-mi...

Congratulations to Uzbekistan for becoming the first double landlocked country to play at a world cup

If we'd beaten Middlesborough at home and Rooney had kept his job, we would have stayed up.

(Vaslui didn't end up having a proper license to compete, an issue that repeats itself quite a lot if you follow the history of this division)

Ok in 2014 this happened.

That season, FSBC led the league for 22 (!!) weeks but ended up finishing second to CFR Cluj, who merked them in the play-offs hahaha

Done some digging through previous seasons and this is the first time in a while the 7th placed team has got relegated but the last time a team who finished 1st in regular season didn't win the division was in 2020/21 so pretty recent !

Another fun sublot is Universitatea Cluj who led the league for 18 (!) out of 30 weeks and ended up finishing 4th lol

Also rather hilariously they also led the league briefly, albeit in week 2

the Romanian league system is nuts

Despite finishing 15 points above the bottom 2 and 8 whole places, Sepski OSK have been relegated lol

awesome youtube search from me last night

New U-turn as Keir Starmer has changed it Prime Minister's Answers!

Detective Pikachu is one of the only film about a detective version of pikachu but that doesn't mean it's an original idea. I in fact had the idea for Pathologist Charizard first

"Island of Strangers" is funny because it somewhat implies I know every British born bloke.

I have written a shorter and clearer poem than Hemmingway did:

For sale,
Dead baby

Keir Starmer, I am putting you on notice that you have to get a grip

Being brother of the Pope must be so funny

"any siblings?"

"yeah just 1, the pope"

Woke Marxist Pope

I'm gonna keep on voting for

the woke marxist pope

i'm at the conclave for

the woke marxist pope

woke marxist pope

swear this isn't in his remit

Happy Birthday William Shakespeare, who would have been 461 today. Gone too soon x

Give it to Big Sam til the end of the Conclave

Pope Francis has seen his shadow! 5 more weeks of summer

Gutted to be snubbed in this year's honours list! will be boycotting the ceremony as a result

I have put a tarrif on my flatmate's chicken nuggets.