WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS BAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHHAAHAGGSUAGAGWGAGQ

i will show what ive made of this after i delete my account and make the new one (college found this one 🥀)

the tomodachi life level up song........

i have acquired tomodachi life. i will soon delete my account. adiós

god they're so dumb

omg ur so smart using those hair options i seriously sat staring at the switch for like 30 mins trying to find something for my mii of him LOL

well-organized light shapes :)

Good news for New Yorkers, bad news for rats: all trash will be in rat-proof bins by the end of 2031.

No more black bags on the sidewalks — it’s time to put a lid on it.

Maybe it's because I was forced to watch Crash in film school and overanalyze the scene where she yells about how she hates her Hispanic locksmith, but between that, her starring in The Blind Side, and this AI crap, I've never liked Sandra Bullock's vibes.

"it was a sophisticated ddos attack"

i HOPE the attackers didn't put effort when they couldve just blown (with their mouth) in the direction of their hq

Bluesky has activated the Emergency Pervert Filter, which makes the site basically unusable for known perverts. This filter was activated hours ago. Anyone struggling to use the site should notify their local police. Thank you!

tl;dr log off. like mii

a man wearing headphones is making a funny face . Alt: a man wearing headphones is making a funny face . And acting dumb

Bsky devs when you point out the reason their website shits itself every 15 seconds is bc it's 90% vibe-coded:

hey guys im going afk until tomodachi life is in my hands (a physical copy) so yeah it might take a while lol bue

People ask me all the time for my favorite Onion headline, and there are like 200 of them, but my favorite recent print headline is easily this:

Last year, I told New Yorkers: we would open city-owned grocery stores to take on the affordability crisis.

Today, we're delivering five stores in each borough — with the first opening next year.

Here's to healthy families, thriving communities, and promises kept.

Happy Tax Day, New York. We’re taxing the rich.

Last month in The Onion:

Today, more than 80% of the Democratic caucus stood with the American people and voted to block U.S. military aid to Netanyahu and his horrific, illegal wars.

AWWWW i love how you draw them im

hey guys im going afk until tomodachi life is in my hands (a physical copy) so yeah it might take a while lol bue

never forget

BREAKING: A jury has found Live Nation and Ticketmaster to be an illegal monopoly that overcharges fans.

After the federal government settled the case, 34 states kept pursuing the giant ticket and concert company.

Now, the states have won.

Who has two thumbs and is about to lose his SECOND consecutive American Music Award??? 👍👍

Can’t wait to throw on a *fabulous* suit and cheer Mark and Ejae on their inevitable and highly deserved win! ❤️

out hearts

Knowing how many people and their families are lined up to watch the most miserable, experimental, "fuck it we ball" episode in the series is going to be interesting.

and not to muddy the waters of understanding but I am planning on cosplaying as Katie Killjoy as I sing songs from Five Nights at Freddy's

Why is Husk not in the new Lvl Up poster?

Doylist answer: They only included the characters of the voice actors attending.

Watsonian answer: They knew better than to bring Husk to Vegas

President, Extremely Normal Brain-Wise: Pope Weak on Crime, Also I’m Dr. Jesus Christ

A+ headline.

defector.com/president-ex...