"oh look at these two" is coldplay's best song since "clocks"

how long until Eric Adams claims he has a terminal case of winfluenza

every day I live in fear that somebody did in fact say McDonald's and I missed it

I can understand why people have strong opinions on Antarctica, it's polarizing

Harbor Fate Tools: Our Inventory Is Your Destiny

instead of force ghosts george lucas could have just had weekend at bernie's like zombies following characters around

since we're all singing on planes now i'm going to shout a rendition of radiohead's "fitter happier" on my next flight

the guy in the minnesota vikings logo looks extremely constipated have some senna tea and chill bro it's gonna be fine

I got thrown out of the Impressionist museum for suggesting they were trying to Monetize everything

please accept my calculator app apology

hoosiers 2: howsiers

grey poupon? no thanks i’m a poop greyón kinda guy

at some point, most laundry was launwet

if the only record of my time on earth is someone finding the notebook full of unique ways to spell "penis" I wrote whilst at a business conference years ago, my life will not have been wasted

If you're an opera singer who's struggling to stay regular, I have a coach you can work with who can help with that. Her name is Di Aria

I love how smug the person who lives in my Bluetooth earbuds is when they deliver the news that they've connected to my phone

million dollar idea: game genie type add on to podcast apps that skips top of show banter

wherever you go, there you went

i’ve been told i’m handsome and if you don’t agree i’ve got some hand you can catch

I bet emma stone and dwayne johnson could make a gneiss movie together

why chase field when you can pursue prairie

= my dial of destiny review 4 months late

you mean to tell me you made a movie with mads mikkelsen and a whip and no one got hit in the balls?

guess we can expect yaccers at coney island on the 4th next year. look out, joey chestnut

can anyone confirm that the A350-900 is in fact airbussin

It carries with it the spirit of Twitter whereas Threads feels a step removed from that

if you're wondering what the most AI generated old timey sounding baseball name that belonged to an actual guy is, it's this

I have more faith in this site taking off than threads

It could be a pitcher's duel tonight, but one or both could Pfaadt out a Scheißer start