yes

sorry. i will repent for my sins.

my slim-

licks,

it works fine for me i use the official client too on niri (with moonlight but that shouldnt change anything)

sorry

i guess thats my real sin is thinking like this ?

i wish i could talk to someone about anything but id,k

i feel so mean for even thinking any of this just kill me already

idk it sounds stupid but im so tired of overthinking every little interaction and everything i hate being bpd brain i hate it so much

idk i love her but dawn feels so fake always maybe im just destined to feel like the outcast accepted so feelings dont get hurt because im dumb and cant accept anything for what it is

i mean she is my owner and i want to believe in that i just dont know if she thinks that way because im stupid and like why would anyone want to be my owner when im like this yknow?

like i want an owner and she would make for a good owner if it werent for me because im so retarded

i feel bad for anyone who has to put up with me

anyway i guess im gonna go back to stress eating and watching yt shorts

im so sorry that im like this but i dont know what to do about it

i want to love please please let me love i feel so alone i dont want to be alone anymore please

i dont get it i dont get it i dont get it i dont get it i dont get it i dont get it i dont get it i dont get it i dont get it i dont get it i dont get it i dont get it i dont get it i dont get it i dont get it i dont get it i dont get it i dont get it i dont get it i dont get it i dont get it

i know i love them but that doesnt mean anything for some reason it just feels like the one receiving any love isnt me, i want to be loved for once, i want to, but i just cant feel any love when im like this, when im reduced to this and i cant pretend anymore

i just dont understand it i dont get it is it because im so disassociated from my online self that i dont feel anything because my online self isnt me?

i know this because i dont feel anything when im like this yet i want someones attention i yearn for it i just want someone to be there for me but but it just never ever feels like that even when someone tries to talk to me

i know im not a good person

its just cruel to everyone else

the worst part is i still want someone or something to see me but i dont know what i hope to gain from that

i hope no one sees this smile

im so disgusted with myself tbh idk why i even think i can be like a puppy or something im just a disgusting freak

that might work

can i like put myself in a coma and then have an automated thing kill me does it work like that, like a gun or something

drugging myself out would probably be the best?? even then thats risky because what the fuck am i gonna do it with and how am i gonna be sure

i imagine getting stabbed most often but that would just result in me bleeding out and i would just be hospitalized which would genuinely be worse lmfao, or like getting hit by a car, same thing