18 - Snowflake #NaPoWriMo Day 18 (technically 19) and today I’ve been writing a pantoum inspired by too many conversations that I suspect many of you will find… familiar… Remember that, if you’re a subscriber to my Patreon, you can hear a recording of this piece (and the seventeen preceding it) there. The link to the relevant post is here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/snowflake-156049134 --- I ask him not to use that phrase; I am polite, I do not shout. He tells me that it’s just his ways, I don’t know what I’m on about. I am polite, I do not shout; we must be careful to be safe – I don’t know what I’m on about – his arrogance begins to chafe. We must be careful to stay safe, and not upset the “normal” folk. His arrogance begins to chafe… of course: I cannot take a joke. Please don’t upset the Normal Folk. (He tells me that it’s just his ways… of course: I cannot take a joke.) I ask him not to use that phrase… I’m aware that this doesn’t add a great deal to the commentary, but I’m tired and this will have to do… Designed using CorelDraw and my own brain --- If you’d like to write your own pantoum, why not make use of my handy-dandy shareware spreadsheet that can help get you started? https://bit.ly/poemrep

Latest piece: 18 - Snowflake: #NaPoWriMo Day 18 (technically 19) and today I’ve been writing a pantoum inspired by too many conversations that I suspect many of you will find… familiar…



Remember that, if you’re a subscriber to my Patreon, you can hear a… #bigotry #pantoum #reallife #repetition

17 - On losing my Saturday and part of Sunday to a sodding migraine #NaPoWriMo Day 17 (technically 19) and today I’ve been writing a haiku inspired by exactly what it says on the tin, as an emergency measure because, what with that and the epic editing process for Ouroboros, I’m now super behind. Remember that, if you’re a subscriber to my Patreon, you can hear a recording of this piece (and the sixteen preceding it) there. The link to the relevant post is here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/on-losing-my-and-156046560 --- It’s no joke in Spring;no-one’s prepared to cope withatmospheric shit. Migraine Brain by me. I didn’t even both looking on Google this time. --- If you’d like to write your own haiku (in English), why not make use of my handy-dandy shareware spreadsheet that can help get you started? https://bit.ly/poemrep

Latest piece: 17 - On losing my Saturday and part of Sunday to a sodding migraine: #NaPoWriMo Day 17 (technically 19) and today I’ve been writing a haiku inspired by exactly what it says on the tin, as an emergency measure because, what with that and the epic editing process for… #haiku #migraine

I would like to wish the person who likes to fling what sounds remarkably like sheet metal around for at least an hour nearby at arbitrary times of the evening (but generally when I'm about to record or edit audio) a Very Fucking Stop That.

Every evening. Every. Evening. Anywhere between 6 and 11.

WHO HURT YOU, RAPOSA? I JUST WANT A WORD WITH THEM...

I mean… it was more fitting than cats or cartoon penguins, or my other usual go-tos for hug GIFs, but it wasn't meant to be _mean_.

Oh no! Really?! I genuinely thought that was nice! (oh shit…)

a black dog and a white dog are looking at each other . Alt: A white dog is looking a bit doleful. A black dog gets up on its hind legs to give it a hug. They are indoors on a sunny day, next to a large window, and both similar, short-haired breed.

I will offer the GIF I put out when the episode first aired...

This would appear to be a decent compromise/ approach to accessibility to me. I hope!

1. A described version, which includes that this is an acrostic and which word it spells along the edge, combined with saying the first letter before each new line.

2. A straight reading, so people can enjoy it purely as a poem, if they so wish.

Okay, I've now done what I should have did long since and directly asked blind people who like poetry which would be the most accessible version for them. Upshot is I'll be combining two suggested approaches, and doing two different readings, so people can choose which is most accessible to them:

Back again with another "How the heck do I make an audio version of a concrete poem?!" this time: acrostics.

So, Hive Mind... would you:

a) Just read it straight and tell people afterwards what the word/ phrase is?
b) As a) but tell them at the start?
c) Chime for each new line start?
d) Other?

Beauties who have, or are experienced in supporting those with alexithymia, do any of you have good resources (English is fine but German is even better) to share for my friend (who is trying to support someone else who might have it)?

I don't recall any previous transformative technologies that had to be sold to the public so hard. No one in 1999 was going, "Guys. Cell phone? It's coming, whether we like it or not. I think it's important, FOR WOMEN ESPECIALLY, to learn about cell phone. So that we're not left behind!!"

I cannot even begin to tell you.
How fast you will move to the top of my ballot.
If you publicly antagonize AI.

I'm about to embark on a 3+ hour car journey for this gig and it would be nice to see some friendly faces there!

To my mind, this isn't even about punishment, it's about making the system and its flaws fully apparent and thereby fixable (and then fixed). Because we have to start actively being better than this. Come on.

Publish the Peter Mandelson files Revelations about the disgraced Lord Peter Mandelson’s relationship with convicted paedophile Jeffrey Epstein have rocked Britain. Recent reporting has revealed that Mandelson did not receive approva...

I’ve signed this calling for the full Mandelson files, including vetting documents, to be published. Parliament and the public need the full facts, not partial disclosure.
Sign here:
you.38degrees.org.uk/petitions/pu...

Shout out to @rewildingbritain.org.uk, whose wonderful work informed and inspired most of this piece, it turns out.

16 - Ouroboros #NaPoWriMo Day 16 and that night I wrote a piece of free verse inspired by the prompt “Golden eagles could be returning back to English skies after 150 years” as part of my ongoing (possibly Adrian-Mole-esque) attempts to get a news poem into Rattle, which I’m becoming increasingly sanguine about and just seeing it as an opportunity to do a submission to a friendly place and keep finding fresh, weekly prompts for easy poem-inspiration. Easy. Right. So the process went something like this (skip to the poem if you’d prefer): Me: I shall write a poem about golden eagles. Golden eagles are great! Writing Brain: Uh, yeah. Great. Me: No, we agreed: golden eagles. The Patreon subscribers picked it unanimously. We just did hours of research and shit. WB: Mmmh. Not feeling it. Me: Deal with it. WB: [stubborn silence] Me: [tries to tempt WB out with setting up an acrostic] WB: [tumble weed] Me: Fuck’s sake, fine. [slumps] Leave me, then. I’ll just sit here, bereft. Like this nation bereft of all those species that got hunted to extinction… WB: Oh, hello. Me: What? WB: Say that again? Me: Uh. “Fine, leave”? WB: No, the other thing. Me: “We are a nation bereft”? WB: That’s the puppy. Me: Uh, okay…? [starts writing] [time passes] WB: Ooh, we could expand this list of extinct British animals… Me, cautiously: I guess…? Me: Wait. Are we writing a political poem instead of a nice nature poem…? WB: Maaaybeeee…? Me: Fine, I supposed ecology is pretty political… WB, absently: Now you’re getting it… [after a couple of stanzas] Me: So, just a short one, after last night’s sestina, right? WB: Oh, absolutely. Me: Right. [80 minutes later] Me: Why is the poem going over the page? WB: Nearly done… Me: You mean it’s not finished yet?! WB: Shh, I’m busy. Me: [growls] [time passes] WB: Hey. Me: What? Done? WB: Not exactly. Could you go look up a list of reintroduced species to the British Isles for a kind of rollcall near the end? Me, throwing hands up: I guess! So that all happened. And then I realised that my delivery during the recording left a lot to be desired (there was definitely a bit that came across horribly classist, for one), so I re-recorded the last two stanzas. And then did the last one again, because WB chipped in saying “eh, that’s a bad assonance” (you’re a bad assonance!) and rewrote two lines. And then there were bits which no amount of cleaning could fix which needed pick-ups and that’s why I’m a day late releasing this NaPoWriMo poem (which doesn’t even mention golden eagles by name…), officer. Anyway, remember that, if you’re a subscriber to my Patreon, you can hear the much-belaboured recording of this piece (and the fifteen preceding it) there. The link to the relevant post is here: https://www.patreon.com/posts/ouroboros-155915962 --- We are a nation bereft – we swept out all the things we didn’t think fitted our image, insisted on diminishing diversity, this unenlivened island made bland as butter, utterly subsumed in consuming greatness. No more bears or boars, these shores cleansed, carcass flensed; we’d throw you to the wolves, but that’s not an option anymore. The aurochs gone, the great auks axed, taxed by a species that sees vulnerability and bleeds it dry. Anything deemed too big for its boots is rooted out and then, ironically, we go looting elsewhere, and dare to complain when these actions have consequences, begging the question: when does entitlement get fed up with itself? I exaggerate, of course: #NotAllHumans actively stamp out the damp borders of this hoarding nation, saying “Let’s slay things, let’s make this frayed system more desiccated,” dedicating efforts to ending indigenous and migrant variety alike. But, gods help me, enough of us do nothing, and that’s… bad. So thank heavens for those closer to the ground by choice, voices raised, daring their best, questioning the status quo, knowing that all this hard graft might not stem disaster, but we’ll sink faster in the quicksand of handing off our responsibilities. And see? The Fisher King builds, buck-toothed and broad-tailed in this ailing nation once more. White storks haunt lake shores, scores of pine martens and many tiny ants gathered and nurtured and handed back to a land that needs them. Demanding more than monoculture, ungovernable greed asset-stripping this habitat for… snacks, has to start somewhere. There are bison now in Kent, and the Isle of Wight has white-tailed eagles thriving, driving out the unchecked predators, invader turned prey. And hey, I know what you’re thinking: “This place is more crowded now and how will we cope with these new-old things incoming, taking up space, fiercely protected, who gets to stake their claim, blame shifting… this way…?” And I say: reparations from the audacious few who caught us all up in their hunger have to happen, so please, bring on the wonderful thunderclap of wings broader than I’m tall and I’ll sing you such songs of old wrongs righted. No longer benighted, we can be inspired, and wild, and rightfully just a part, not monarchs, but citizens, dancing, balanced again at last. What’s that, Fay? You decided to draw something you’ve never drawn before for this already very involved poem? Cool. Cool. --- The Ouroboros represents many things, depending on the cultural background you’re viewing it from. Unity, protection, duality, completeness, the trap that is the physical universe, and the end containing the beginning (and vice-versa) being some of them. Up to you which you’d like to apply in the context of this piece…!

Latest piece: 16 - Ouroboros: #NaPoWriMo Day 16 and that night I wrote a piece of free verse inspired by the prompt “Golden eagles could be returning back to English skies after 150 years” as part of my ongoing (possibly Adrian-Mole-esque) attempts… #capitalism #colonialism #nature #news #rattle

And yet WHAT WOULD WE DO WITHOUT IT?!

[after a couple of stanzas]
Me: So, just a short one, after last night's sestina, right?
WB: Oh, absolutely.
Me: Right.
[80 minutes later]
Me: Why is the poem going over the page?
WB: Nearly done...
Me: You mean it's not finished yet?!
WB: Shh, I'm busy.
Me: [growls]
🪡

Me: Are we writing a political poem instead of a nice nature poem...?
WB: Maaaybeeee...?
Me: Fine, I supposed ecology is pretty political...
WB: Now you're getting it...
🧵

Me: Uh. "Fine, leave"?
WB: No, the other thing.
Me: "We are a nation bereft"?
WB: That's the puppy.
Me: Uh, okay...? [starts writing]
[time passes]
🧵

Me: [tries to tempt WB out with setting up the framework for an acrostic]
WB: [tumble weed]
Me: Fuck's sake, fine. [slumps] Leave me, then. I'm bereft. Like this nation bereft of all those species that got hunted to extinction...
WB: Oh, hello.
Me: What?
WB, ears pricking: Say that again?
🧵

So, this is how it went last night:

Me: I shall write a poem about golden eagles. Golden eagles are great!
Writing Brain: Uh, yeah. Great.
Me: No, we agreed: golden eagles. We just did hours of research and shit.
WB: Mmmh. Not feeling it.
Me: Deal with it.
WB: [stubborn silence]

#WriterProblems 🧵

*The Very Prudent Decisions of Hortlakçı Süleyman Hoca* is an 8-part tale of supernatural suspense & Ottoman horror by @gemaydin.bsky.social @loujsutcliffe.bsky.social.

Show feed:
pnc.st/s/the-very-p...

More information about the show:
veryprudentdecisions.lawofnames.com

Coming May 8, 2026!

Force the government to rip up the EHRC’s transphobic guidance It’s been a year since the Supreme Court's decision that accelerated the rollback of trans rights in the UK. It’s been a difficult year, but it’s also been a year of coming together and fighting back....

Encourage the government to rip up the EHRC’s transphobic guidance. We have less than a month. Join us goodlaw.social/de78a7 - it literally takes two minutes. Please?

I fell down the Research Mines. I fell DEEP. No poem yet, but I know that, in 2017, the French Army were apparently training golden eagles to take down drones...

Government pledges £1m to get Golden eagles back in England After more than 150 years, golden eagles could be a permanent feature of England's skies under a new project.

Okay, the Patreon folk have voted and the topic of my next news-related poem will be {drumroll}...

EAGLES!

www.bbc.co.uk/newsround/ar...