I called the White House to let them know Team Venezuela beat Team USA for the WBC championship. He called me a loser and that it’s a rude and obnoxious comment, then told me he’s revoking my telephone privileges. I said thank you.

How many times have I seen actors in movies swallow a handful of pills without water? Is this normal? Am I abnormal? Well, more abnormal than usual?

Trump can’t even use the Coldplay guy as a distraction since it’s about cheating on your wife.

I don’t think deporting him is going to shut him up. Trump may need him to take, uh, “a trip to Belize.” Whatever happens, this has been a gift to the meme community. As well as popcorn futures.

Hope that big, beautiful bill passes, cause I’m looking forward to my big, beautiful tax refund.

We’re all billionaires, right?

Helped an elderly guest who couldn't figure out his TV. He was convinced it was broken. I showed him how to work his remote. "Which channel would you like to watch?" "Fox News." He finally calmed down. Fox News, the channel for people who only watch one channel. This happens more than you'd guess.

Coming next summer to a theater near you: “Project 2026: Canada‘s Revenge”. This time the geese come home to roost.

First the Canadians boycott their hooch, and now “DEI at the Grammys!”. A tough week in Redneckia.

Slow down, guys. We still have a lot of 2025 left to finish your Project.

Jealous of all you East Coasters who are done with this miserable month already. Lucky bastards.

There are fewer places in polite society where people absentmindedly clog an aisle and stand in your way than Walmart.

Other pet peeve: people who gather at a counter without forming a line, creating anarchic confusion. (See: Walmart optics department.)

There. Did I used all 300 characters? I did.

I had a dream last night that I was at work getting ready to leave when a coworker came up to me and was suddenly overcome with emotion. He said his girlfriend/wife just found out she had cancer. I put my arm around him to console him. It was Henry Winkler.

Do I watch too much TV?

Maybe I should vacation at the Gulf of Mexico. Like John Mellencamp said, “and vacation down at the Gulf of Mexico”. Should I visit the Gulf of Mexico from Louisiana? Or the Gulf of Mexico from the Gulf of Mexico coast in Florida? Maybe even the Gulf of Mexico off Houston in the state of Old Mexico.

The Spice Girls break down on their way to an LA gig.

Was scheduled to get both of mine, but I got shingles. Postponed them till December. I better get ‘em while we can.

With the circus of last night, I was expecting to see more MAKE BOXING GREAT AGAIN hats.

Many years ago, in a dream, Dennis Hopper (or Richard Nixon?) told me there’d be a communication tool named after an Allman Brothers song and to prepare a greeting for it. It’s a little dated now, but here it is: “Hey, all you out of sight people! Let’s be groovy to each other, you dig? Far out!”