Welcome to Books, For Men™ From the people behind Books, come Books, For Men™. Books, For Men™ have thick, sturdy pages. Built for a man’s eyeballs. Books, For Men™ are nonfi...

"The pages in Books, For Men™ come from the harsh papermill operations of remote Siberia—something you can read about in Books, For Men™."

The Shocking Truth About This President That We’ve Been Sitting on for Months Is Now Available for Preorder “The suggestion that one has ‘sat on’ revelations of grave public importance until they could be accompanied by a handsome dust cover, embossed serif typogra...

"Could these revelations have been published sooner at a moment when they might have materially informed public understanding of executive war powers? I mean, I guess. But then, where precisely would the chapter on the mangled White House wartime communications strategy fit?"

Relax, We Can’t Invoke the Twenty-Fifth Amendment Every Time a President Threatens to Murder Millions of People “At what point does ’He’s an America First warrior unafraid to ruffle liberal snowflake feathers’ turn into ’He’s a genocidal megalomaniac who is all but cer...

"The good news is we have two weeks to relax before we’re back to wondering, 'Will they? Won’t they?' with the fate of the world. So, until the president actually issues a direct order to start the ethnic cleansing, we suggest you all relax."

@lindsayfickas.bsky.social you relatable wordsmith.

The Wedding Vows of Someone Marrying Their “Best Friend” 4/15/25 4/6/26

"Josh, you’re not only funny but also reliable, and I know you would do anything for me. Sure, you wouldn’t help with any wedding planning and told me that 'flowers are boring,' but boy, do you look good in that tux today, my handsome, stylish best friend."

What’s Happened to the Party of Lincoln? “Today’s Republicans don’t tell folksy, long-winded stories to make a wise point to their assembled cabinet members. They give weird evasive answers to repor...

"Nothing about them resembles the Party of Lincoln. Like, for instance, they have a signature hat, but it’s not a stovepipe one."

“Why Aren’t American Women Having More Babies? We Asked Fourteen Men”

An Open Letter to My Eight-Year-Old Following His Harrowing Battle with Norovirus Early on a School Day “You might think you’re not tired, but it’s best if you try to nap today. Your nurse told me you were pretty lethar—okay, that was a really cool dance move. ...

"When your body is sick, it needs lots of rest time so you can recover quickly. I know it sounds boring, but honestly, you are going to miss these naps when you’re my age and—wow, yes, that was amazing. I had no idea you could somersault."

Cover Letter for a Job I Don’t Want “As a nameless cog in a corporate machine, I have worked hours far in excess of those outlined in my hiring contract without overtime pay because I needed he...

"I am eager to bring my expertise and lack of self-worth to this criminally underpaid position for which I am overqualified."

William Carlos Williams Tries to Reach His Word Count I have eaten, the plums that were in the icebox specifically between the milk and cheese the block of cheddar and the 2% milk, to be exact April 25 2022 4/1...

I have eaten,
the plums
that were in
the icebox
specifically
between the milk and cheese
the block of cheddar and the 2% milk, to be exact
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/wil...

I will simply be adding a link to this brilliance as a comment under every article on birth rates I come across. 🤣💯🎯

Treasure Collecting An all-new installment of our whimsical comic about artistic creatures trying to make a living in a bleak forest.

#RegurgitatedNeoButtonism

McSweeney's is starting to compete with the Onion for "factual journalism thinly veiled as satire".

Brilliant xD

Here at H&R Block, It’s Our Pleasure to Answer Your Questions About How We Funnel Your Tax Dollars Into the Gullet of the Great War Pig “While H&R Block does not endorse the activities of the Great War Pig, we must feed Him.”

"While H&R Block does not endorse the activities of the Great War Pig, we must feed Him."
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/her...

My friend and primary competition for best mom, @lindsayfickas.bsky.social, is in @mcsweeneys.net today and I am very proud of her!!!

“We Interviewed Two Hundred Childless Women, and Every Single One Was Doing Something Fun”

This may be the most truthful piece about living and working in America

Someone's in the news today? Shamelessly opportunistic me is ready with a recent @mcsweeneys.net piece

www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/con...

Here at H&R Block, It’s Our Pleasure to Answer Your Questions About How We Funnel Your Tax Dollars Into the Gullet of the Great War Pig “While H&R Block does not endorse the activities of the Great War Pig, we must feed Him.”

"While H&R Block does not endorse the activities of the Great War Pig, we must feed Him."
www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/her...

As a Centrist Democrat, I Ran on a Promise to Fix Killer Shower Clowns. But Now That I’m in Office, I Believe We Should Consider the Issue More Cautiously “I’ve been going back and forth on whether or not there should be an organized response to these deadly clowns with spiders for hair behind the shower curtai...

"I’ve been going back and forth on whether or not there should be an organized response to these deadly clowns with spiders for hair behind the shower curtain, and I just don’t think the research is there yet."

I was in college and working for Howard Dean's campaign when this happened. The last 10 years of Trump has been... difficult to believe.

Excerpts from The Believer: An Interview with Thomas McGuane “Do everything right and they leave. Do everything wrong and they eat. An interesting sport in which virtue is not a component of success!”

"I’m not a naturalist. I wouldn’t stand in the woods all day with my binoculars. I wish I were, actually. I need to be doing something in nature that’s compatible with being an observer and a listener and all those things. For me, fishing does that." - Thomas McGuane

You might think this is a humor piece, but you’re probably wrong. This is a classic horror story.

Move over, Cask of Amontillado. The future our benevolent-less leaders have planned for us will make you wish you were bricked up behind a wine cellar for eternity.

America’s Op-ed Columnists Brainstorm Future Headlines About the Birth Rate “Experts Warn the Falling Birth Rate Could Have Serious Consequences for Men”

"We Spent Six Months Investigating the Birth Rate Crisis and Found Women at Every Turn"

"Birth Rates Are Down Across the Western World. One Variable Has Remained Constant: Women"

"Experts Warn the Falling Birth Rate Could Have Serious Consequences for Men"

Relax, We Can’t Invoke the Twenty-Fifth Amendment Every Time a President Threatens to Murder Millions of People “At what point does ’He’s an America First warrior unafraid to ruffle liberal snowflake feathers’ turn into ’He’s a genocidal megalomaniac who is all but cer...

"At what point does 'He's an America First warrior unafraid to ruffle liberal snowflake feathers' turn into 'He's a genocidal megalomaniac who is all but certain to usher in the demise of American hegemony'? Far be it from us to draw the line."

Good News, Husband: I’ve Become a Tradwife “Remember how you told me that your childhood crush was Laura Ingalls Wilder? And that you think America is in the toilet? Well, you’re about to have all you...

"I want to return to the glory days of the 1960s. Or the 1940s? I'm not entirely sure, but whatever time it was when women served their husbands homemade Pop-Tarts and America was a better place for white men with weak chins, I want to return to it.

They always want to eat the craziest stuff like 15 seconds after yakking everything they’ve eaten in their lives

An Excerpt from Johanna Gohmann and Emily Flake’s New Book All Toddlers Are Scorpios - - -McSweeney’s contributor Johanna Gohmann channels the chaos and charm of life with a toddler into All Toddlers Are Scorpios a hilarious astrology guide ...

"The little ram can be extremely self-confident as well as combative, and you should expect to lose many minutes of your life locked in heated arguments over things like why they aren’t allowed to power the lawn mower or cut their own hair."

President Nyarlathotep Is Simply Engaging in Classic “Mad Outer God” Negotiating Tactics “This is classic Negotiating 101 courtesy of the Faceless God himself. Sure, he may have kicked it up a notch from ‘sheer madness’ to ‘abject depravity,’ but...

"That said, yes, it seems like the promise to 'fill every womb with salt and every testicle with spiders' is sort of backfiring."