We need those punchlines back.

Listen, buddy, if you think we're just drinking coffee in 2026, I've got news for you.

I'm guessing the fact that there was nobody to repost, retweet, text, and share these things killed the movement pretty quickly back then?

Nah, that's too normal, Mr. Lastname.

I will happily admit I know nothing about this. But the Google AI answer was enough for me to know this is every bit as stupid as I thought when I was told to me.

We need to return to the time when we met people saying completely insane shit out of left field with laughter and ridicule rather than a "hmmm, that's interesting!"

We are too bored. Take your normal enema and move on, folks. Please.

Somebody I know with cancer apparently needs an enema coming up, recently told me that their family members recommended a "coffee enema" to them -- which is exactly what you'd think it is.

Said family members, I know listen to Rogan and Von, and I'm sure other broken brains.

Folks...CMON!

Update: In 12 minutes they have lost three balls to the neighbor’s yard. A record, some are saying.

I wonder if the neighbor whose yard will inevitably become a ping ball graveyard will be mad if/when his German Shepard starts picking them up and/or accidentally swallows one.

We shall see!

I live in a townhome community. All houses share at least one side of their fence with their neighbor.

One family recently bought a ping pong table to put out on their deck. It took three mins of the playing to lose a ball.

Maybe that idea should’ve been a no, folks.

We are eating in 2026, folks.

I swam in HS and college but obviously am not in that kind of shape anymore 10+ years removed from school. I felt like crap and wanted to get back to feeling good and like I could do all the physically demanding/fun stuff of parenthood when she’s older so I decided this year to get in shape.

Exactly. My daughter is 1.5. Around the time she was born I decided I needed to get back to doing some very basic things that I put off doing as an adult. Her being born just totally changed my perspective.

Also, why is every guy I’m told is “cool” or “worth following” for inspiration MAGA pilled?

Miss me with the daily check-ins on IG stories, the bro workout culture, the weird ways people make it their whole personality.

Just do your thing and move on.

Thank you for coming to my TED talk.

A few months ago I started working out with a friend who is a personal trainer to get myself into better shape.

It’s been awesome. I’m glad I made this decision for myself/my family, but if there was one thing I’ve been reminded of it’s how much I can’t stand workout culture.

a baseball player wearing a jersey with the number 42 on it is running on a field . ALT: a baseball player wearing a jersey with the number 42 on it is running on a field .

Happy Jackie Robinson Day, folks.

Surely JD Vance has a witty response ready to go.

The Iran embassy in Thailand has approximately zero chill.

Minor league logos remain elite. Congrats to this Baysox hat moving into the No. 1 spot in my rotation.

I agree. I think it’s a wildly stupid decision to go there.

Roger Goodell would like Kyle Shanahan to shut up and dribble.

Holy cow.

The real question about the Defenders is this: Is the Beersnake still going strong?

Defender SZN.

How dead is the NFL news cycle right now?

Consider this: I just came across a story about how Sean Taylor's brother, Gabe Taylor, is making his home debut for the UFL's D.C. Defenders this weekend.

I was worried she was going to get lost in there. NGL.

Find someone who loves you as much as my child loves this…thing.

just kinda realizing trump declared a ceasefire the same way michael scott declared bankruptcy

Nolan Ryan pitches for the White Sox.