funny how this autonomy does not apply to people who don’t want to be pregnant

🥹😭🥹 OMG that was seriously one of the best meals of my life, I cannot even explain how beautifully every single bite was out together and how perfect all the textures and flavors were. 🤩🤩🤩

Just absolute art.

Really did think it was about a man offering to solve my problems. Construction, obviously, but I assumed changing tires and carrying spiders outside was also included.

It's actually ingrained into the culture as a way to make civility and reasonableness sound "pussified"

"Your CO tells you to go over that wall and your girl tells you to come home safe, WHO DO YOU REPORT TO, SOLDIER?"

It'll protect a lot of women from being raped and killed by the men they simply won't have in their homes because they know how to recognize some red flags now.

What will it protect men from?

I bet $20 we've figured out why the gym worker avoids him at every turn.

Every gym worker I've ever known has been in a tight community of trainers or body builders or spray tan insta baddie influencer types, but they ALLLLL know each other.

... At which point we will become more organic matter just rotting away, waiting for the next meteor, as the mountains turn to valleys and the universe goes on largely unchanged.

Like the man said...

THE FUTURE IS COAL. 😞

But there's a whole Honorable sign in front of him I am so confused do they give those to everybody regardless of character because that doesn't seem like a very honorable thing to do?

Menu on the table of double Michelin star awarded Fred in Rotterdam

Champagne and two perfect bites of the most delicious food on earth 🤩

TFW you tell everyone you're moving to Europe for the snacks and nobody believed you, but you ain't never told a lie about any of the crazy shit I do, y'all just never believe me. 😎

But what if I was very clever and sneaky and only released one song the whole time about her being dead in the trunk of my car?

"Say Perhaps To Drugs" in sharpie on a yellow brick wall.

The doggy in the front seems to care very much, but the one in the back mostly seems like she'd like some cheese.

Just figured out which book I'll be hollowing out to make my cyberdeck 😂

Nnnnooooooooo 🥺

Yes, the fact that I'm attending the White House Correspondents Dinner might SEEM like a supine gesture of complete deference to the insane dullard who demands total obedience from the press, BUT that's until you see the secret message I have on my pocket square

A reminder that in July 2020, Vanity Fair reported that Peace Envoy Jared Kushner canceled an aggressive national plan to coordinate delivery of Covid test kits because he decided it would be politically advantageous to let Blue states suffer.

They also share links for other men to log into private rooms where they can direct a man on what to do to his drugged victim, and watch as he fulfills their requests on her unresisting body.

They encourage each other. Many of them are husbands of several years. The betrayal is part of the thrill.

Motherless dot com

It's a website where men trade tips on drugging their wives, girlfriends, or other people they have access to while they sleep, for the purpose of sexually violating that person.

It had 62 million unique visits in February. And 81 million in March.

Guarantee this will happen on the 3rd floor and you've got my vote. ✅

Who could have predicted this?
(We all predicted this)

It's crazy that they're actually gonna destroy marriage and family by trying to codify it.

"You are property of your husband"
-ok, I'm never gonna get married then

"A family is a man, a woman and their children"
-a family is a woman, her power of attorney and her medical proxy

Houdini seems likely to disappear* at any second

*Fly around the room causing a typhoon of destruction, ultimately posting up under the couch, the only place safe from falling objects

Fuck NATO, Viva España 🥹🫶👊

I didn't even have any catnip and I'm pretty sure your cat teleported next to itself. Maybe don't let the cat have access to whatever the fuck time space manipulation tool allowed this to happen.

In the nicest way, please do not create the thing that ends humanity because you couldn't shut a door.

I will not stand for this nanny erasure.

DO YOU THINK THOSE CHILDREN RAISE THEMSELVES?!?

Bone. Fucking. Tired. 😶

It's fucking wild that y'all are acting like Florida, Alabama and Louisiana just don't exist.

I guarantee you, ain't nobody lost some girls like the Gulf of Mexico had lost some girls... 😬

The hands that help are holier than the lips that pray. Says Skeletor he often meets “good” people who prey.

Stop trying to please people that already don’t like you and embrace the joy of being the most annoying person they've ever met. Says Skeletor looking at Beast Man and knowing he really loves being the most annoying person ever.